Posted by Fallen4MyT on May 1, 2004, at 0:59:20
In reply to To: Fallen4myT more info about the shadows, posted by shadows721 on May 1, 2004, at 0:02:55
Shadows you do not know enough about me....many of my posts are a ways back and in different T subjects ..I too, to fill you in Readers Digest version :) am a abuse (child) and adult rape survivor and I *see* your points.I have said that to you and to others in the past and what may be good for some isnt good for others. I never..NEVER said when in therapy in a serious way to have sex with your T **while in therapy* with them and see them as a T and have sex ..
I do however take a different stance and that is I DO see where..and I cited examples in this thread and others where it IS OK to after the 2 years have any relationship TWO adults in agreement can and wish to take that would of course ban IF it hurt ANY of the parties involved. I DO know of cases where the marriages with T client were fine and sucessful....
I know stats say 50% of all marriages end in divorce and someone said T marriages to clients end after 2 years...but that is in what study? By whom> How many T's marriages to clients over how many YEARS were studied..what age groups what etc...Stats can be slanted by whomever does the study as in drug companies who do 6 week studies on say 1000 people and say the drug has a 1% rate of this bad side effect or that..I book or study does not make it so...I do not always fit the stats..I agree we disagree and that to me is OK really I am in the minority on this site on this issue BUT NOT ALONE. But it is still my stand for ME and I know IF/WHEN/NOW MAYBE if I was with my T it would NOT damage me..YES I agree there are many it could and does..for me no I am well aware of transferance and I am NOT as you posted in DENIAL thats is where I feel attacked that post. In my case and some others have found we arent as vunerable as some of the people that get hurt in these situations. Discussion is good and talking about our feelings but debate is ify when it comes to a civil thing I can and do feel attacked and all when I feel folowed by a poster who keeps insisting and restating the same disageement...We could go for a million posts each and you know, we will not agree on this. You and I that is. I wish you well :)> There were no personal attacks on you and actually I didn't see any on me either. Yes, we disagree on this topic. I don't take that personally at all. This is actually a discussion that is getting wonderful feedback from folks and getting them to think about therapy and their issue. That's a great thing.
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> I do have strong believes this issue. I think the topic is a good one. We all need to deeply examine our boundaries inside and outside of therapy. I have gotten a lot out of this discussion. Even if you don't agree, you may have seen the issue from someone else's eyes.
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> As a sexual abuse survivor, I am very vunerable to this stuff. Therefore, I have to have high boundaries to protect myself. For example, how can you really tell if someone is coming on to you? When you have been taught to not trust your instincts, it's hard to tell. Also, I have to put things in a child's perspective for myself. During my whole childhood I was brutally sexually abused, therefore, it is really a child that is in therapy. A therapist that would cross the line would also cross the line of the child. That's how I see myself in therapy. So, as far as a t and I being involved, no way and no how. They could look like a greek godlike image and talk so sweet that I would be hypnotized. That's not what I paid for and that's not what I am there for. That would be very traumatizing to the child that still is alive and scared in my mind. To put it more bluntly, I would be totally ticked off. A t was looking at me sexually as I was telling them about trauma. That's wicked. I was paying them to listen and not to have a fantasy.
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> So, now, you can see where and why I stand on this.
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poster:Fallen4MyT
thread:336073
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040426/msgs/342070.html