Posted by Pandabear on April 29, 2004, at 21:15:36
In reply to Re: ALMOST TERMINATED...and scared. » Pandabear, posted by Fallen4MyT on April 29, 2004, at 17:02:23
I had decided to go ahead with the meeting with my parents...yet when i called to tell her i would do it...she said no that she didnt want to do it anymore..of course, i protested and said that i wanted to do it...and she still said no. My therapist called me after work and was pretty upset with me and telling me that my psychiatrist had decided no because I had previously said no..and she didnt want to go back and forth. That is bad on my part...but I always act before i think. so...she is going to wait several weeks...My therapist goes on to tell me that they both feel like they cannot win with me..and that made me really sad but I went out after i got off the phone and bought some art projects..(stress relievers..) and a mandalla..which she introduced me to today at my session. I am so lost. The way i am treating my two doctors by not giving up and being persistant and everything is the same way i treated my friend...and i lost his friendship because he became frustrated with me. They have already talked of terminating me and today my therapist said that they werent YET going to terminate me...which scares me because to me it means that its coming...Im going to write them both a letter and take it to them tomorrow. I want to apologize for my behavior and inform them that this is the same thing i went through a couple of years ago..my anxiety, obsessing, worrying, persistant, behavior...No, I do not think that my therapist was fair to orig. Force me to meet..but i told my therapist today that once i had a chance to think about it...i changed my mind...this really bothered her..saying that everything they say to me or everything we talk about will produce anxiety for me and that i just need to step away for a while. She said that Im trying to control something that doesnt need to be dealt with right now..that im rushing and i dont need to ..she told me to just move on and leave everything alone for a while and that i have had a rough month and to just collect my thoughts and that eventually we would meet and talk...I do this..I frustrated the HECK out of people..but i dont mean to...but it hurts my friendships and now..its hurting my relationship with my therapists I feel like I am reliving the worst time of my life..which was about 3 years ago.......I cant win.
poster:Pandabear
thread:341166
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040426/msgs/341515.html