Posted by All Done on March 19, 2004, at 15:35:07
In reply to Re: Couples therapy -- therapist likes my partner more » bookgurl99, posted by Dinah on March 19, 2004, at 11:06:52
bookgurl,
I'm with Dinah on this one. (Surprise, surprise. I like Dinah. She's a good egg :).) Talk to your couple's therapist about what you're feeling. My husband and I have been going for a few months now (only every 2-3 weeks, though). During some of the earlier sessions, I felt like they were both being pretty hard on me. I did discuss it with my individual T because I thought perhaps I was just on therapy overload, so to speak. I was felt like my thoughts were being analyzed at every turn, by me, my husband, my T, and our couple's therapist. I tend to be pretty hard on myself and maybe it was just a bit too much "thinking" for me. Anyway, he suggested that I let the couple's therapist know how I was feeling. So, in the third session, I did and she said she appreciated me telling her and that, yes, sometimes in couple's therapy, it can feel very one-sided, but she would be aware of how I was feeling. There has only been one session since then, but it did feel better.
That said, the jury is still out. I have to give it some more time, but I feel that if a therapist doesn't seem to be working for both individuals involved, there are plenty of other therapists out there to shop around. It's such a fine line, though. Since there are two people involved with two distinct personalities, backgrounds, opinions, etc., it might be difficult to come to a true consensus when selecting a couple's therapist. There has to be a compromise on the qualities we are searching for and the priority of those qualities.
In any event, keep trying and good luck!
All Done
poster:All Done
thread:325994
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040313/msgs/326146.html