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Re: Couples therapy -- therapist likes my partner more Dinah

Posted by Bookgurl99 on March 19, 2004, at 15:26:19

In reply to Re: Couples therapy -- therapist likes my partner more bookgurl99, posted by Dinah on March 19, 2004, at 11:06:52

Hey Dinah --

I'm sure that some of this _is_ my own perception. And I think I get jealous that older women almost always give my girlfriend more attention and in a way view her as having more legitimacy than me.

It doesn't help that I have an old friend staying with me who has been putting me down left and right -- any mistake I've made, or thing I've done that _he_ thinks was a mistake, has to come out. Because _he_ feels bad about himself. But it's really dragging me down. I probably brought that with me into therapy.

> So, my advice is what my advice always is. :) Talk to your therapist about your perceptions.

I am _so_ scared to do this. What if she just dislikes me more?

> And don't forget the fact that therapists are often reluctant to urge someone who was sexually abused to be more sexually active.

Yeah, what the f*** is this all about? In any other form of disorder -- anxiety,depression, OCD -- we're urged to become more 'normal.' Agoraphobics are taught step-by-step to venture further out into the world. But someone who's essentially sex-phobic due to a bad experience is just supposed to be given carte blanche to initiate intimate relationships, expect commitment, and leave a partner perpetually frustrated.

>You really might need a regular couples therapist for some of your problems and a sex therapist who's familiar with treating those who have been sexually abused for other of your problems.

She does specialize in sexual abuse; that's why we picked her. Is it possible that she's trying to develop my gf's trust by bringing up the 'safe' issues first?




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