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SI reasons

Posted by cubic_me on February 27, 2004, at 3:31:05

In reply to Good for you! » Kind Girl, posted by Elle2021 on February 27, 2004, at 1:57:40

Somewhere along the thread someone mentioned reasons for why people SI. I think that we are all different in that respect, but there are definatly some reasons that are common to many of us.

I started when I was about 13, picking at my skin with a needle. I didn't know what I was doing (that it had a name) but it made me focus pain away from the internal pain that I had so little control over. A few years ago I started cutting because it was so hard to get blood with a needle, and seeing blood made me feel like I had punished myself *enough*.

Sometimes I just want to hack at myself until I bleed to death, but I am careful about where I cut and very concious of my scars. Thats the only thing that stops me going further with it.

Seeing the pain on my skin is a more *acceptable* form of pain than internal pain which I was brought up to repress and punish. I like to see the cuts because I know that the pain is real and that I am really hurting.

Why do you guys think you do it? Are you ashamed of it?


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