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The rest... » crushedout

Posted by Elle2021 on February 28, 2004, at 2:51:04

In reply to More answers (long) » Elle2021, posted by crushedout on February 28, 2004, at 1:35:43

> wanting so much to be my t's
lover/child/mother/friend and knowing i can't be. that's clear as can be. and yes, i do it to distract myself from the pain that causes me, which is pretty unbearable at times.

That's definitely something that needs to be talked about with your T (but you already have said you know that). Do you think that once your therapist finally confirms the fact that she can't have a relationship with you outside of the professional type, that the SI-ing will subside?

> thanks. but i think there is hope for you, and others, too. it just may be a little easier for me.

I sure hope that there is hope for me. Sometimes I go for weeks or even months with very little SI-ing, then it comes back, usually during periods of high stress.

> no, i haven't tried it. do you only do it for the si stuff, or other stuff, too?

Right now I take medication and do CBT. In the past I've just done talk therapy with my pdoc who I believe said he was a psychoanalytic T. I liked that type, but it just wasn't working fast enough, probably because I wasn't seeing him often enough. I don't just do the CBT for the SI-ing, I'm doing it to correct all of what's wrong with me.

>i don't entirely know what it is, except that i know it doesn't appeal to me (that sounds so closed-minded).

The best way that I can explain CBT is this: It's a type of therapy that attempts to identify maladaptive thought processes and assumptions, and then fix them so that you have a better, more functual method of thinking. I didn't like the idea of someone telling me my thought processes were maladaptive. But, soon I realized that they are. It seems to be helping me.

> i'm actually taking amazingly good care of myself for the first time in my life, practically, in every way but this one. it's like i'm learning to nurture myself for the first time, and it feels really good. but then i cut. i don't know. it doesn't really make sense. does it?

Odd you mention this part. I've started to take great care of myself too, by eating healthy foods, trying to get more sleep, and focusing on my studies...but the SI-ing is still there. I think another reason I do it, is simply as a release. I just haven't figured out a decent, acceptable way to deal with anger and frustration.

Elle


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poster:Elle2021 thread:317484
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/318445.html