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Re: Love and fireworks (and embarrassment) shortelise

Posted by crushedout on February 11, 2004, at 15:10:19

In reply to Re: Love and fireworks (and embarrassment), posted by shortelise on February 11, 2004, at 13:56:28

oh, yes, it's fun, but why the labels, shortelise? ironically, we talked about how my feelings about her have not all been transference. it's a long story, but basically, many months ago she asked me how i perceived her, and i told her that i used to find her sad and pathetic, but that after a few months, my perception of her changed, and she seemed more confident and happier, and i became more envious. anyway, turns out, as she told me yesterday, that when i met her she was in a sort of depression crisis, and then she got out of it (with meds) and had a fairly dramatic change. and all this time i was thinking it was transference. but i was actually picking up on her emotional states.

i know "transference" is not a dirty word, and i actually don't hate it, but that's not *all* of what's going on between us. if we'd met under other circumstances, i think we would have been drawn to each other. (not that that isn't transference also, but if everything is transference that happens between two people then the word has no meaning.)

sorry, just had to rant. i liked your message actually.

> Tranference, counter tranference, projection... eek! It sounds like a lot of fun - no I am not being sarcastic. It does sound like fun! I love that heady feeling.
> I hope your T has the tools to get you both through this in a way that keeps your therapeutic relationship intact and helpful.
> Shorte




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