Posted by alexandra_k on January 31, 2004, at 4:45:37
In reply to Re: New thoughts on T disclosures re: countertrans, posted by crushedout on January 30, 2004, at 22:31:17
I am sorry. I am in a strange mood, it did occur to me that it wasn't sensitive at all - I didn't realise just how much though till after I posted - would have edited it out but I don't know if we can do this???
My thought was that sure having sexual feelings is a part of being human, and is natural and all. But I also know guys who are very 'attractive' in the classic sense (I know there is no standard of 'objective' beauty but 9 out of 10 would agree that they are very good looking...) anyway my point is that they don't turn me on at all. Though I am very very fond of some of them.
Now I am messed up in that respect - but my point is kind of that I don't think one need take offence or feel hurt if someone isn't aroused or strongly attracted to you as they may still like you very much indeed.
Someone can also be physically attracted to you for all the wrong reasons. In which case it is not much of a compliment at all ('100 for a F***?').
I guess what I am trying to say is that sexual arousal can be seperable from closeness and attachment. Things blur for me. I would hate it to blur for my T because I need someone to help me tease them apart. I meant my last question as a genuine question because I want the answer to be 'I wouldn't be upset at all'. I think that discussing with your T why this issue is on your mind may be more useful to you than how your T actually feels that is all.
Once again, I am sorry - I would have felt offended too if I was in your position.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:307129
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/307621.html