Posted by Racer on January 30, 2004, at 18:06:55
In reply to Re: therapists/pdocs and honest opinions..., posted by Penny on January 30, 2004, at 14:03:15
Oh, Penny, you don't know how much I long to ask my pdoc the same question. Let's just say, I can tell you how I am trying to answer it.
I've started out by asking myself *why* I want to ask it, what benefit the answer can possibly provide for me -- whether real or perceived. The first part of that question, for me, has many different answers. "I want to think he thinks I'm attractive because that means he likes me." That's one possible answer, and wanting to be liked is a pretty common desire. On the other hand, how much does it really impact my care? Is there any benefit to me if he likes me? Is it possible that the logic of my argument is flawed? Maybe he thinks I'm pretty, but dislikes me because of my personality? Maybe he likes me, even though he thinks I'm homely?
What I guess I'm trying to say is that examining your impulse to ask your pdoc if he thinks you attractive might be of more lasting benefit than asking the question would provide. Does that make sense?
Oh, yeah, and about weight issues, here's some advice from a middle aged woman who has spent more than half her life starving herself in a futile attempt to prove her worthiness through Being Slim. Self image is a peculiar thing, and it's very much dependant on state of mind. Depression almost always leads me to self-starvation, in a sort of maladaptive self-medicating way, but as soon as the depression lifts, I find that I'm attractive again despite what I may weigh at the time -- and that I AM attractive, even if I am the only one who can see it on the outside.
When the depression is treated, I get comfortable in my own skin, and it makes my appearance so much less important to my happiness. I hope you'll find the same is true for you.
Good luck.
poster:Racer
thread:307260
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/307466.html