Posted by All Done on January 14, 2004, at 22:42:16
In reply to Re: sexual boundary crossing » Joslynn, posted by Karen_kay on January 14, 2004, at 20:50:14
>Someone else....Help me defend my shrink..Please!!!!!
Okay, Karen, I'll jump in. Perhaps I won't have the most popular view of what your therapist said to you (which is unusual for me since I generally stick with the mainstream), but I'll give it a shot. Whoever responds, be gentle with me if you don't agree.
I think what your therapist said was perfectly fine. I always keep in my mind that both people in the therapeutic relationship are human. For my therapist to treat me as a "cookie cutter" of a human would be very disappointing to me. I have hoped and continue to hope that he will not always follow the prescribed formulas that he perhaps read about in college. I want him to know what works best for *me*. Keep in mind, I am by no way suggesting that there isn't a guideline of boundaries that he should follow, but I believe the definitive line isn't always in the same place for each person. We are all so different, have many different issues, and respond to our therapists in a multitude of ways. Think of what it would be like if we all had the same therapist - Mr. Bean, perhaps : ). I bet you we would all have extremely different accounts of our sessions and in the end, report radical differences in our therapy experiences and outcomes. If we didn’t, I believe many of us would not consider the experience as “successful”. I know I want my therapy to be just for me and I want it to work for me. In order for that to happen, my therapist should learn and know what I need from him. IMHO, Karen, your therapist knew exactly what you needed from him and knew when you needed it, too. Good for him!
I hope my rambling makes sense. One example I have from my own therapy isn’t necessarily something I would consider pushing the “boundary line”, but I think some may view it as inappropriate, yet, I feel it helped me. Here are the details (and, gosh, I’m hoping my therapist doesn’t read this site…) My mom has some issues with her own mental health and I have some issues with how she raised me. So, here I am, 31 years after she gave birth, on antidepressants and seeing a therapist. Not that that’s a big deal to me. I’m glad I’m taking care of myself. The problem is, I feel like this could be a genetic thing and, even if it’s not, I believe her inability to take care of herself led to her not being able to take care of me very well. So, to make a long story even longer, because of this I’m very worried about how my young son will “turn out”. I was mentioning this to my therapist, yet again, and he said, in a totally joking manner, “well, what difference does it make. You’re going to [insert vulgar word here] him up anyway!” We both laughed and I felt a bunch of different things which included, 1. I’m worrying way too much, 2. My therapist understands my sense of humor, 3. My therapist “gets” me, and 4. I’m a good mom and I’m *not* going to screw my kid up. IMO, all good things to feel. Could/should he have said this to another client? Maybe, maybe not. Would another client have been offended or taken him seriously? Perhaps. But did it help *me* to bond with him? Yep. Did it help *my* therapy? Yep.
You inspire me to be open and honest with my therapist, Karen. Thanks!
All Done
poster:All Done
thread:300720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/300944.html