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Re: Bye bye happy mania

Posted by Karen_kay on January 9, 2004, at 23:37:24

In reply to Bye bye happy mania, posted by Elle2021 on January 9, 2004, at 16:47:20

I understand about your mum. I have a friend, who in spite of the fact that I'm doing SO much better, still thinks that I shouldn't be taking "drugs" (my one medication) and doing therapy. She thinks I'm strong enough to do it on my own. I think the best thing for you to do is to decide not to discuss this matter with your mum. If you can't agree with her on this and can't avoid a confrontation, then it's best just not to discuss it with her at all. You have so many other things you can talk to her about that won't end in hurt feelings, so stick with those. Also, can you just get a job and make plans of your own, without involving her? I mean you are an adult and don't have to plan everything according to her. I know that she is an important part of your life and everything, but if she doesn't support you on becoming independent, then talk to others who do. If that's your goal, then go for it. With or without her full support.

I get the same feeling from my therapist. When I feel that he doesn't like me, I tell him. That's all we cussed and discussed last week. I told him that I really didn't think he liked me anyway. And he became somewhat defensive saying that there's no reason for me to feel that way. This led to the "phone call" dicussion/misunderstanding. And it just made me realize that we all make mistakes. I think it made him realize not to jump to conclusions. I project my feelings onto my therapist OFTEN! Is it possible that you're feeling frustrated and that's why you think that he doesn't like you?

And I'm not brave at all. I just blurt things out often. And I have a curious mind. I want to know what people do. But, I'm afraid if I ask him that question now it will lead to a discussion that I don't want to tackle and I'll have to admit that I'm asking it for here. Then, I don't think he'll answer it. It's just that the timing isn't right. I'll see if I can fit it in, but with that dream being discussed I don't know if I can. Maybe at the end, when we start talking about lighter things, I'll see if I can fit it in. I'll just tell him I'm reading a book and I'm curious to know. But, I'm afraid he'll say,"Do you mean do I think about you?" And my face will turn red and we'll end up doing it and I'll catch an STD from him. What a mess that would be, explaining that to my boyfriend and all!

About your nightmares:
Maybe yoy could jump in first and say, "I think it means this, (explain), what do you think?" That might make him see that you think about them too. Usually my therapist asks me what I think first then gives me his interpretation afterwards. I prefer that method better.

My Pdoc, who doesn't do my therapy, was always saying, "But I don't think you are Schizophrenic" I didn't really find that overly comforting either. I knew I wasn't and didn't need him telling me that every five minutes. What I needed was for him to tell me what was wrong.

Why are you limited to only once a month? Isn't the "norm" once a week? Why don't you talk to him about seeing him more often? I know it's hard. I'd like to start going more often as well, as things are getting rough. But, I fear that being dx BPD kinda holds the stigma again that I would become too needy or dependent upon him. It's a no win situation for me. I'm just waiting for him to offer, if that ever happens. And I'm afraid that maybe he's waiting for me to ask for help, as that's a goal. Go figure!

But, maybe you could find out about seeing a different therapist? Maybe you just aren't clicking with this one? I mean once a month just doesn't seem right. Ask him why you can't have more appointments and if there isn't a good reason, I'd ask about a referal to a different therapist that you could see once a week. It seems that even with appoinments once a week, progress is slow. I couldn't imagine once a month.

And don't cry babe! Things get better! You had a fight with your mum and I'm sorry. But she still loves you! And your therapsit likes you! And I like you! And Shorty would like you too, if she knew you. And everyone on the board likes you! You seem like such a sweet person. Try to look at the good things you have in your life right now. You're a snappy dresser I'm sure, even if you do smell foul :)
Come on, get happy again....




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