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Another late night? Elle2021

Posted by Karen_kay on January 7, 2004, at 11:14:40

In reply to Re: Things are getting freaky! Karen_kay, posted by Elle2021 on January 7, 2004, at 3:54:23

Up late again I see... I may have to give your mommy a call to let her know about this mess.. Wouldn't want your grades to slip because you're on the internet, now would we? Actually I'm delighted and giddy to read your posts :)

Is Shorty on any medications that help sedate her so she can talk to her therapist?
*She takes Paxil, Seroquel and Klonopin (which she ends up taking about 20 at a time so it doens't help her). And when her therapist tries to talk about things she should be talking about, she becomes aggressive. She's 24, never had a job, never had her license, though she lives in a small town. Basically she is co-dependent on her mother. She still wouldn't talk about the things she should, even if she were half sedated. And she goes to a community mental health care center, with subpar standards. She was recently informed that to continue getting meds she would have to begin group therapy. She has had many run-ins with the nurses and doctors. She's always calling me crying about the way they treat her, yet she is very hostile to them. And they are aware of her drug problem, yet they continue to give her klonopin.????Huh??? I'd like to go to a doctor's apt with her just once and speak up for her and actually see how they treat her, just to gain a perspective.

And I'm certain she has BPD, but she is also dx something else Schizoid something or other.. She couldn't remember. She doesn't focus on that. Just Borderline is all she focuses on. It's a shame. I've grown tired of hearing about it. I even hate it when my therapist mentions it. Every so often he says something about me 'being Borderline" and I just grunt. It wouldn't be so bad except for the stigma, you know. (Be prepared, here comes my tangent!!) Ok, so what. I have BPD! Does that mean that if my boyfriend and I get into an argument or break up that I'm going to try to kill myself (unsuccessfully of course) because I want to teach him a lesson? No, it doesn't. Oh!!! Get this!! This makes me SSSSOOOOO mad! Did you hear about my therapist not returning my phone call? If not, I'll tell you about it. I called him because I needed some advice, which I don't call him often, EVEN though I do have BPD. Now, when I called him my dog was in the background howling. My therapist didn't return my phone call and mentioned in my next session (two weeks later because of xmas break) that he didn't return my phone call because he thought I was playing a joke on him. That I had a girlfriend over and she was laughing in the back ground and I was trying to quiet her. (WHAT!!!) Then in this session he mentioned that he thought that maybe since I was Borderline I was just calling to talk or play a joke on him!!! Hello! I've been seeing him for a year almost and I have never once called him to "TALK" or waste his time! Why would I "out of the blue" just begin to do that? Now, maybe there are some people that do that, granted. But, aren't there different levels and spectrums of BPD? Shorty would do that, yes. She called a boy once 10 times after he told her not to call him on the second call. I would think that by now my therapist of all people would be able to know that I wouldn't be in the habit of wasting his time. Good grief! That just hurt my feelings. And when I told him that it hurt my feelings he honestly looked like he was going to cry, and I was happy about it. Give him something to think about before he goes around make stupid assumptions! It just seems like after I read about BPD it made sense but it just seemed dreadful, you know? Like it is the hardest personality disorder to correct, plus I'm not really able to take SSRI's because I'm BPI and they make me manic. I don't really have bad mood swings since I'm taking Topamax, so that's good. But Borderline isn't something that I fess up to too easily as I don't like the stigma it carries.

Enough of that, let us move on :)

Oh dear... She has to accept responsibility for the way she is acting. I know it's really difficult, but it's unlikely she will get better until she accepts responsibility for her actions.

*I know that too! But she's living in a fantasy world and until she wants to be helped she can't be helped. I keep telling her my positive aspects of therapy as well as the negative and encouraging her to get help. Telling her that she realy needs to give therapy another shot. And I've told her that she has a drug problem. She can't really be helped until she gives that up. I used to have a pill problem. I was severely depressed and my doctor put me on AD after AD, making me manic. It got to the point that I called him up on the phone and said (Lord help me!!) "If I kill myself tonight, you're responsible." When I went in for my next appointment he referred me to a therapist and refused to see me again. That's when I moved to start school again and I was DX Bipolar. And started to recover and started therapy as well!

Tell me about it! I don't like it when my family says stuff like, wow, you sure were having some nasty mood swings a few days ago, you were like (insert description here). I know how I acted because I was there too, no one has to reiterate for me.

*It drives me crazy though when people tell stories of things I've done when I was actually manic. Things I'd rather forget. Things I wish I didn't do. That I can't stand. But, when I act a certain way or have mood swings and people talk about it like I don't know, it drives me crazy. YES, I know! I don't need you to tell me!

It's not always a mood swing, just sometimes I'm tired...know what I mean?

*Like we aren't allowed to JUST be cranky. To have normal mood swings because we have BPD. That's what drives me crazy about the "phone call incident" with my therapist. He jumped to conclusions, and he's a therapist. It's not like I'm waiting out by his car everyday after work, or calling his office on a daily basis, or calling him at home (I don't even have his home number). I mean just because I'm dx people jump to conclusions. Even my therapist, who isn't supposed to. Of all the people in the world, he's the last person I'd expect to. And he did!

Yes, I can tell from your posts that you probably wear mismatched clothes and don't wash your hair. :)

*OMG! Ok, that is weird! The mismatched clothes.... My clothes never used to match. I had a pair of plaid pants that I used to say went with everything. I used that as an excuse because I knew that they didn't match anything! Now, I stick with basic black and white so that all of my clothes match.
As for the hair, I haven't brushed my hair in over 4 years. My niece used to ask my siser (her mom) why doesn't aunt Karen ever brush her hair? I was sitting right there. My sister was just like, it's just her style. It's funky hair, cute and messy. It doesn't look undone now. I get it done and everything I just don't brush it. And I only wash it every 3 days because I get it colored and that dries it out. Also, my niece asked what a faus paux was once and I answered "My hair" It still looks stylish, I think? just a bit undone.... How did you know that??? Are you watching me??? I finger comb it, and I don't have tangles or anything but I don't use a brush or comb or anything.. I think it is cute and my stylist doesn't complain about it so.. Anyway, why do I feel the need to explain myself......

:( Everyone has to take breaks sometimes! But I like being here. Last time I think I just got overwhelmed. That happens sometimes, right??

*I'm sorry you were overwhelmed... That does happen at times... Just don't let it happen again, Ok! :)

And I could never be your friend cause you don't wash your hair... Hehehe!

*I wash it every 3 days... And when I don't wash it I spray perfume in it so it smells good. And I use nice products, so it is always shiny.. You wouldn't know I don't wash it everyday. Besides, it is bad to wash your hair every single day.. Here I go explaining myself again :( Darn it!




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