Posted by Karen_kay on December 30, 2003, at 17:08:21
In reply to Re: Can we try this again » Karen_kay, posted by DaisyM on December 30, 2003, at 16:22:58
It's hard to see progress when you are feeling this way, know it? I seem to be even more anxious than ever. My memory is improving a bit, but do I really want that at this point? Honestly, I'd say no.
And I know even if I had a do over, it would just be more witty conversation and more frustration from him because I'm going nowhere. Then, I become frustrated because he doesn't understand why I am hesitant to talk about things. Is he heartless or just stupid? Does he not realize that this is a difficult subject to just casually talk about. Like, I'm supposed to sit down adn just start talking about it for 45 minutes and be OK for a week, after not even realizing it happened for years. And he just keeps talking about it. He just seems really insensitive. I think that bugs me the most.
And I can tolerate it, I've tolerated much worse. He told me I could tell him to stop and he would. But he is supposed to know when to stop, and what will help me "get better." That's what I find confusing.
Cleaning my house is what I do to reassure myself that I have it together. If my house is spotless, then I'm OK. Well, I know I'm not OK so, I don't care what my house looks like anymore. I just don't have the ambition to keep up appearances anymore. I'm tired of the stupid games.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:294726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031221/msgs/294793.html