Posted by LostGirl on December 16, 2003, at 11:13:02
In reply to Re: therapist crying, posted by crushedout on December 14, 2003, at 14:02:31
This is a great topic.
I could not cry my whole adult life. In therapy with my first therapist, I remembered how as a small kid my mother used to say "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" and remembering that clicked. I had thought there was something wrong with me because I never cried. Like I could be at a sad movie and everyone is crying, and I would get the plot, but not have that reaction. Then, when I would talk about childhood incidents, from time to time my therapist would look on the verge of crying. At times he would wipe the corner of an eye once. His showing his reaction so genuinely touched me and showed me that these things were sad, and worth being taken seriously, rather than dismissed. Then I got to the point where now and then I felt I was on the verge of being on the verge of crying. And eventually, with him, I started to occasionally cry. For the first time in about 30 years. His gentle warmth and sensitivity meant a tremendous amount to me because it was what let me be able to look at things differently and stop thinking I always have to be tough and strong and just put aside and deny anything that is upsetting. I never knew I was afraid to be vulnerable, but him letting himself show that, allowed me to learn to feel vulnerable feelings.
However, down the line, he messed up in another way. Now I am with a cold fish therapist, and she drives me nuts because she always has this stupid grin on her face no matter what I'm talking about and now I'm back to not really being able to get feelings out, am bottled up again.
poster:LostGirl
thread:288100
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/290517.html