Posted by Dinah on December 4, 2003, at 17:33:42
In reply to Re: I wish I was an artist » Dinah, posted by shar on December 4, 2003, at 16:33:23
From how I feel I guess. From the way the rest of the world makes me feel. (OK, CBT'ers, I know the rest of the world doesn't *make* me feel anything, but now is *not* the time to point that out.)
My therapist said the most *ssinine thing he's ever said to me today. He said I need to learn to live with the anxiety (of something minor). As if I don't live every day of my life with anxiety or agitation as the subtext. As if well more than half my moments aren't permeated with anxiety. From the moment I wake up to my husband's angry quiet movements as he readies himself for work (because he's mad at himself for sleeping late or whatever) and try my hardest to "sleep" and stay out of his way and keep the despair at another day of the same at bay. Till the moment I drop into bed vibrating in the evening, using every relaxation tip I know to quit buzzing enough to sleep. And managing in between time without ripping off my skin with a pathetic handful of tools - CBT techniques, relaxation techniques, a handful of highly imperfect psych drugs, my dogs :), and whatever internalized safety I managed to bring home from the one place I used to feel so safe.
I think my therapist likes the new arrangement and wouldn't easily back up to the old one.
Oh, things probably aren't as bad as I'm making them out to be. I haven't been feeling well lately. It's hard for me to remember feeling better when I'm feeling bad.
poster:Dinah
thread:286568
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/286598.html