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Re: Transference Crisis sadmom

Posted by Dinah on November 19, 2003, at 17:03:04

In reply to Re: Transference Crisis, posted by sadmom on November 19, 2003, at 8:31:12

Originally transference was used only to describe feelings that we had for others and have now transferred to our therapist. But it is also used more broadly to describe all the feelings we have for our therapists.

For example, biofeedback guy reminded me of my pdoc from h*ll, so some of the dislike I felt for him probably was transference from this previous relationship. Or maybe, as my therapist told me today, there is just a certain personality type that I clash with.

My therapist certainly doesn't remind me of the parents I have, but he is the mother I wish I had.

But apart from all that, you go somewhere and sit in solitude with someone who focuses on you exclusively while you're together. Who acts only in your best interests, setting aside their own needs. Who is compassionate and empathetic. Ordinarily those circumstances come up very rarely. One time would be in early mother/child interactions. Another would be in the first stages of romantic love. We've got it coded into our genes to respond to these situations in certain ways. When our genetic imprints were being set, there was no therapy relationships, so those don't come naturally to us. We tend to respond as we do to a lover, or to a mother, just because of the circumstances which artificially mimic those relationships. And exactly how we respond, whether as a child or a lover, might say something about us. Also, how we interpret events in this highly charged atmosphere probably says a lot about how we view the world, and our characteristic interactions with others.

Yes, your feelings are real in that they are a response to the part of your therapist that you see and to the circumstances you find yourself in. Saying something is transference is in no way minimizing it. It's a very powerful force.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:245412
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031114/msgs/281355.html