Posted by DaisyM on November 7, 2003, at 17:22:14
In reply to Daisy!!! (long one here), posted by karen_kay on November 7, 2003, at 15:52:02
Oh Karen,
Can you hate what happened, and not the man you knew as an adult? We all change, hopefully for the better. I have seperated, in my own head, my dad into two people. Pre-20 years old and post-20 years old. I just can't reconcile them as the same person.How did you respond to, "I noticed you called me again?" If you didn't say, "yeah, I needed to talk to someone" you should have. I think you need to straight out ask him about extra support because he may be assuming you have outside support when you don't. It will also help you if you KNOW his schedule, as in, he doesn't take or return phone calls on weekends or after hours, etc. Try to have a plan before you leave the session about what you are going to do, even if the plan is that you HAVE to live with the anxiety. That is the really hard part, I think, to feel like you are going to be in big trouble because you told! It creates little kid fear which is so overwhelming. If he thinks you are too needy or whatever, he should say so. He should also help you with tools to deal with life between sessions.
I have a huge fear of becoming too attached or being viewed as a complete pain, or worse, someone who wallows in their sorrow. But, we've talked about this a lot and believe me, I have never felt quite so out of control as I did last week, so I HAD to call. He totally understood though, he actually said to me, "well, geez, you did something really, really hard...of course you need more support." He also knows that no one else knows. Learning to lean on him and call, he says, is part of my therapy.
Try to go slow. You can't force the memories any more than you can make them stop hurting. I know all of this is easier said than done. I flip back and forth everyday from thinking it is helping to it is really killing me. :( Again...writing is my release -- I get it all down on paper and it feels better.
-D
poster:DaisyM
thread:276859
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/277563.html