Posted by HannahW on October 5, 2003, at 23:25:23
In reply to Re: More conflict with my therapist » HannahW, posted by Tabitha on October 5, 2003, at 20:36:54
> She says I hate men. I just can't own this feeling.
Do you identify with it at all? In another one of your posts you said you have a hard time thinking of men as human. If that phrase doesn't mean you hate them, then maybe she's misinterpreting you. If you tried to clarify and define what you really feel about men, would that make her less aggressive? Just a thought.
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> She's gotten really confrontational with my reactions to the men in the group. I don't get this. I actually like one of them, feel neutral toward one, and am having a little hard time with one-- but it isn't a feeling of dislike. He just seems needy and reminds me of my 'ex' and it's unpleasant for me to have that brought up. Maybe I'm just not supposed to complain about group members.Maybe she's looking for you to talk about that guy in the terms you just said. That it really isn't him, after all, but that the things he reminds you of are painful.
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> The other thing is I was drinking some, and she said I was doing it to act out my anger toward her, which didn't seem right to me.I can totally relate to wanting to have a drink instead of feeling rotten feelings. I was self-medicating more and more over the past year or so. Just last week, (prompted by going to a family reunion and watching all the alcoholics in their drunken stupor, and making me realize I did NOT want to be like that) I decided I was going to cut back. It's a struggle for me not to go for the quick fix, though. I totally understand where you're coming from.
I'm scratching my head and wondering how she could possibly interpret your drinking as lashing out at her. That makes absolutely no sense--as you know! Unless you showed up for therapy really drunk, flaunted your inebriation, and said, "You suck as a therapist, so I'm driven to drink!" I can't see a rational explanation. Anyway, if you WERE lashing out at her, so what? People get ticked at their therapists all the time, even hate them, but it's the therapist's job not to take it personally. Your therapy isn't about HER, it's about YOU! It seems like she has a personal issue of her own, here.
> And I was trying to get a trip together to visit a male friend, and have lunch with another guy
This is good evidence that you don't hate men. Did you point that out to her? I can't figure out why she would discourage you from seeing them, just because they're not marriageable. I would expect her to encourage you to socialize AND take out a personal ad. Why does it have to be one or the other?
This really is a strange situation. I think you should consider getting a consultation.
poster:HannahW
thread:265641
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/265829.html