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Re: More conflict with my therapist

Posted by HannahW on October 5, 2003, at 0:54:08

In reply to More conflict with my therapist, posted by Tabitha on October 4, 2003, at 23:55:53

> It's very confusing. If I accept what she says, I feel smaller and sicker. And guilty.

Is it that she's still confronting you about your interactions in group? Or is it something else?

> I've always thought the answer to conflict with the therapist is always talking it out in session. But after I did, she said that being in the group was hurting our relationship, so maybe group wasn't good for me.

Haven't you only been to two group sessions so far? That seems awfully soon to make judgements about how well it's going. Especially since your second session was so different from your first one. Did she notice that?

>She also just didn't seem to know what to do about the conflict. She asked me to talk about what it felt like to be mad at her. She asked me what I needed from her. Isn't that what therapists ask when they don't know what to do with you?

Not in my experience. My therapist makes me voice what I want from her and then refuses to give it to me. (See above post, Therapy Can Be So Cruel) It's some Freudian technique. Nice, huh?

Was everything going perfectly before you started group? Or were things starting to be a little shakier? I hope you don't mind all of my questions. I'm trying to get a clearer picture of what's happening.

Could there be any truth to what she says, but you don't want to accept it? Or is she completely off base?

My initial thoughts are perhaps after 10 years, she thinks you're ready to make much greater strides toward recovery, but that she has to push you to make them. But if her pushing makes you drop out of therapy, then it's not exactly working the way she'd hoped.

Ten years is a long history to throw away based on two or three bad sessions. I'd call her to make an appointment, but tell her you'll only come if she promises not to be like that.

Another alternative, and perhaps this one is even better, is to get a consultation. See what another therapist thinks.

P.S. I notice you're a night owl too!


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