Posted by fallsfall on October 5, 2003, at 7:51:45
In reply to More conflict with my therapist, posted by Tabitha on October 4, 2003, at 23:55:53
What a hard time.
It is possible for a good therapy relationship to go bad (I left after 8 1/2 years - very painful). But it does seem a bit early to assume that. I was as clear as I could be with my therapist, but I really didn't know what was going on - so it was hard for her to understand. You have a pretty clear idea of what she is doing and how it affects you. As painful as it is, I would confront her right back with that information. Ask her why she thinks that what she is doing is helpful. Maybe the two of you see the interaction differently. 10 years is a long time to throw away.
If you think that she has heard your point of view, and you believe that you are open to hearing hers, and you are still in a lot of pain over the relationship, then get a consultation. You can either ask her to refer to you to someone, or you can find someone on your own. I went to see an old group (!?) therapist - so it was someone I knew, but hadn't seen in 7 years or so. She was incredibly helpful. She calmed me down, helped me to identify my point of view, gave some possible explanations for my therapist's point of view. All in 50 minutes. It gave me confidence to go on.
I decided to leave (the pain was too much and it wasn't getting better, I was suicidal (the worst I have been) and thinking about changing therapists made me feel better. My new therapist is SO different - Man vs. Woman, Psychodynamic vs. CBT, deep vs. logistics, confident in me vs. supportive (but he hasn't seen me flounder yet - this may change), pushy vs. let's see what happens. It is so different, but I think it is what I need now.
I think that my old therapist was really good for me for 7 years, but then something happened and we stopped being a team. Changing therapists was very good for me. But I fought to stay with her for 1 1/2 years, and the last 4 months were agony.
Make sure you take the time to work it out with her. If you decide to leave, you need to know that you have done all that you possibly could (it is sort of like a divorce).
(((((Tabitha)))))
poster:fallsfall
thread:265641
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/265686.html