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Re: What would we be really doing? » SLS

Posted by ChicagoKat on September 19, 2012, at 16:02:07

In reply to Re: What would we be really doing? » ihatedrugs, posted by SLS on September 18, 2012, at 8:44:44

> > I wonder what would we be doing if we didn't suffer from this illness?
> >
> > I would be working in my studio. Spend summers in France partaking in painting workshops. No anxiety, no fear, no tears, no insomnia.
> > No more envying those who enjoy sunsets...
> >
> > Oh well,
> > ihatedrugs
>
>
> You really have an appreciation for life and are still full of positive energy. I hope you can soon enjoy those sunsets. You deserve it.
>
> As for me, I don't know what I would do right now if I were to become well today. My perceptions and outlook change dramatically when I am in remission such that my plans in life change as well. So, right now, I am uncertain as to what I will want to do as I approach remission. Either way, my goal is to return to employment. Too many years have passed for me to go back to school. I am looking for financial independence and stability. When I was younger, I wanted to become a MD/PhD in psychiatry and the neurosciences. I had a passion for medicine and healing people. Gone.
>
> Still, I look forward to a bright future and enjoying sunsets. Right now, the sun is rising.
>
>
> - Scott
>
>

Scott, you remind me of myself. When I was younger I dreamt of being a psychiatrist. I even went to med school for two years until some very bad episodes in my life plus the depression/anxiety I've also fought put an end to that dream. I was already a PharmD, so I went back to that, only working part time. Eventually my disease got so bad that I lost my job from calling in too often (especially when I was enduring ECT). So I suppose, if it weren't for my illness, I'd be a psychiatrist, doing my best to help those who suffer terribly from the pain and devastation of life caused by their disease. All I worked for is gone. Right now my only dream is to feel well enough to sit and enjoy a good book. DEPRESSION SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kat


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poster:ChicagoKat thread:1026003
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120912/msgs/1026132.html