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Re: Re Instead.... » Dinah

Posted by linkadge on July 13, 2012, at 11:54:08

In reply to Re: Re Instead.... » linkadge, posted by Dinah on July 12, 2012, at 10:05:49

>I only remember my son having a tantrum once >when he didn't want to leave an activity. When >he threw himself on the ground and howled, I sat >down next to him, agreed it was terrible to have >to leave, and howled myself. (I'll point out >that we were among friends.) He was so startled >that he got up and we left. I'm not altogether >sure that that was the best tactic either.

**Well, apparently, you've got great kids and you don't need to escalate the response curve.**

Once, I darted across the street at the age of 2. (yes we can blame my parents for letting this happen, but nonetheless they were supervising).

My parents picked me up and spanked me. Then they followed up with "don't you 'ever' run across the street again like that - the truck can hit you"

I would argue that this response was optimal.

The child has attempted something extremly dangerous. They often cannot fathom the kind of pain and suffering that might result from a collision.

My parents may have tried 'reasoning with me'. But, I would argue that 'reasoning' (or taking away a toy or bla bla) does not instill the same sense of *seriousness* that such an act caries.

The 2 year old will probably attempt the same thing again, because words to a 2 year old can go in one ear and out the other.

My father (an electrician) warned me *often* about not putting my fingers in an electrical socket (when I was about 3). His words made *sense* however, being a stupid child I did it anyway. I got a bad shock.

I never did it again.

For me at age 3:

Words = in one ear out the other
Pain = remembered


Linakdge




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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120630/msgs/1021265.html