Posted by Meddy43 on March 2, 2012, at 8:51:06
In reply to how did you know when it was time for hospital?, posted by g_g_g_unit on February 20, 2012, at 5:40:10
I've been hospitalized so often, that I have lost count. But the latest stay was so horrible, that I will not call anyone if I'm suicidal. I was manic, they tell me, around last october, and did some stupid things. about 2 weeks ago, I felt so incapasitated, that I could make a sandwich for myself: too demanding. I still only consume Diet coke, cookies and peanuts. I can't do anything, I don't feel anything, I stay in my jammies night and day. I can only be at my computer. But I still think one of you, or maybe many, have a conspiracy about me. I got a second psyc med, I now have zyprexa and Abilify, and the Lyrica and the benzos. I can't think straight, andI see glimpses of people who want me dead. I do take my meds. I think I'm slighty down, but my pdoc says I have Bipolar 1, and have a psychotic depression now.She knows how ´much I hate being incarcerated in a locked ward, and did not commit me for my manias or depressions. I have the set date I will kill myself 021012. She trusted me enough to stay in my own locked ward, my home. I have to think about taking out the trash for three days and I think my whole life is a failure, a mistake, and God wants me Home, I think so.
I didn't know when I would me comitted; I did not feel ill, and the same goes for me depression. And I don't feel psychotic
So I would try to avoid hospitals, but when you or someone else thinks that you are in danger, do go to a hospital, they will save your life, give you time to think about what to do, instead of being suicidal. Take one day at a time. I'sorry that you feel ill.I hope you get help ! Take care of yourself.
poster:Meddy43
thread:1010926
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120302/msgs/1012204.html