Posted by floatingbridge on July 31, 2011, at 11:51:17
In reply to Re: Cyclothymia: SLS and others. Floatingbridge, posted by morgan miller on July 31, 2011, at 9:46:06
Hi Morgan, I enjoy talking with you. You are right, about the psychological underpinings. By my age, they're very deep, I always had extreme sensitivity, then there is that damn bipolarity thread that runs through my family. What's one to do? Keep slowly opening to life good therapy, healthy people (people with mental illness can be very healthy--they often have excellent B.S. detectors.)
I was very fringe in my glory days. Wish I had enjoyed being a wild child. I enjoyed dressing up, my nose was pierced,
and my hair was always a new color. There was a club called the Mabuhi Gardens (sp?) in SF I used to go pogo in, mosh pit and all. I never could abide performers spitting on the audience though and too much vulgarity. Nor the fist fits.
Seems what passes for rebellion is often reactionary, pointlessly scatological and (IMO) misogynistic. *sigh*I saw Jane's Addiction back in the late 80's. That guy, I happily forget his name started spitting on the audience. Wtf.
It's the 80's dude. I just walked. The Pixies were always awesome live. The Replacements, too, though sadly, they thought it was cool to go off stage to vomit, then come back and perform. Sonic Youth was awesome, too.Funny thing about aging is that people think I've always been
old or ill with fibromyalgia or very conservative because the only freak flag I fly these days is with my weird jokes that startle most folks except my husband. When I had tomtell him recently I honestly didn't know if life was worth it and I was so sorry to admit it, he said I could not live without your jokes. Isn't that a beautiful thing to say?One thing I am sad about right now and another motivator too wellness is seeing live music. Gillian Welch started here new album tour in my town the first week of July. That coincided with my massive withdrawal and stuttering.
Oh well. Heck yeah. Going forward. Thanks for talking Morgan. How are things your way?
fb
> FB, I enjoyed hearing about your story. It's interesting to picture the younger you living on the edge. It sounds like you were almost punk rock back then. Anyway, thanks for sharing.
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> As far as the fears go that you are experiencing, they are likely, at least in part, manifestations of deeply rooted stuff that just happened to start impacting you and coming to the surface later in life. These types of fears, as with things like OCD and anxiety, are coping mechanisms we use to protect ourself and manage our emotions. In a sick and twisted way, we end up making ourselves suffer, sort of punishing ourselves, so we cannot feel good and fully experience life. This way of coping is a result of the hurt that left us with deep pain and sadness. If we feel anxiety, develop great debilitating fears, and develope crippling OCD, we prevent ourselves from being vulnerable to truly feeling things in life, from being exposed to the world around us. We do this out of fear of being hurt the way we have been hurt in the past. If we remain in a state of suffering and torture, we never are able to feel good enough to be vulnerable to getting crushed and dissappointed by life as we had before. These are deep emotions in our psyche/subconscious that drive these self destructive coping mechanisms. So, I would understand why most would have a very difficult time understanding how we could do something like this. These things that drive us are intangible, they are not concrete like neurotransmitters and such. They are likely a result of the extremely complex system as a whole. It's just not one of those things scientists can pinpoint and draw pictures of.
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> I hope some of this made sense. I'm sure you already have a good grasp on these concepts. I also hope you don't think I am pinning everything you experience on our very flawed psychological coping mechanisms. I am a beliver that genetic predispositions and maldeveloped biology play a major role. I just believe that things are far more complex than most people want to even begin to try to understand.
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> Morgan
poster:floatingbridge
thread:992265
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110728/msgs/992391.html