Posted by surviving on June 21, 2007, at 23:37:04
This is my first time on this site...don't even know how I found it, but am glad I did.
I'm a cancer survivor...6 yrs out. Before cancer, I was an outgoing, social, energetic mother and Pastor's wife. Never liked meds of any kind or needed them. But a radical neck disection surgery in 2001 nearly did me in. Afterward, I had panic attacks 24/7, only slept 2 hrs each night for 3 months, lost down to 100 lbs, shook constantly and uncontrolably and almost gave up completely. Had it not been for my 2 wonderful daughters...i might not have made it. My husband was fired and with that went our friends.
Since then, it's been a roller coaster ride to get help. I felt like a research project...I'm sure many of you can relate. I tried every SSRI with no success, and finally found my way to a Pdoc. He put me on 6 ml daily of Xanax, 200 ml of Wellbutrin, and Remeron. That's what it took to bring me back from wherever I had gone.
I watched an old family video 2 nights ago and wondered who that person was who looked like me...I don't know her anymore.
I have weaned myself to 2 ml daily - Xanax...stopped the Wellbutrin for almost 2 yrs....but had to start back on it 3 wks ago. I'm living in a world I didn't know existed and finding this website has made me feel more 'normal' than I have in 6 yrs. I still want to get off the meds and not wake up in a panic at night, but will continue to take it one day at a time.
The wellbutrin doesn't seem to be helping with the Depression, but my Pdoc wants me to stay on it. Xanax helps alot...without it, I can't function at all, I just sit and stare.
Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated. My life today is just surviving and crying in secret so my children don't see.
poster:surviving
thread:764861
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070613/msgs/764861.html