Posted by tom_traubert on December 28, 2006, at 20:14:56
In reply to Re: memantine - phillipa, posted by medievil on December 28, 2006, at 11:10:28
> memantine or riluzole look very ineresting yes, but i can't afford them right now
>
> the problem with my OCD is, that i DONT wonna treat it on bad days
> my obsessions are crazy, if i do something bad on a monday (stupid things, could be everything my ocd doenst agree with) i'm just so obsessed i will have bad luck that week, and that it isnt a perfect week
>
> ii'm also in a bad week right now (i have more bad then good ones) and i dont wonna treat my OCD, because i think its bad for my brain if it fights ocd when its there full force!!
>
> thats why i just want something that works right away!! something to keep ocd away untill parnate kills it
>
> because i know if i start parnate, i would stop taking it after 3 days thinking it aint the right time to take it, and not listening to these toughts makes my ocd unbeareble!!
>
> so right now, i'm trying to get my hands on morphine or other opiates, they are reported to kill ocd right away and only needed once a week (tought thats a good thing to prevent addiction)
> i need them temp untill paranate storts working, if it ever does
>
> its horrible if OCD keeps you from your treatment!! it even doenst "allow" me to eat healthy, i gotta do it when i'm in a "perfect day"
>
> so right here having lots of anxiety on a rubbisch junk food diet
> my obsessions suck, sometimes i wish i just do rituals...Sounds like a really bad week--hope things turn around soon!! I'd just like to say that recklessly seeking out opiates/morphine is potentially "bad for your brain", treating ocd with a plan is not. It is precisely when the obsessive thoughts are in full force that treatment is most warranted. The thoughts will not go away by themselves, just the opposite. The intensity and frequency of the thougts will vary, but as long as they produce significant levels of anxiety they will never fully disappear.
I'm not preaching here, I know exactly what you're describing: some days, it just comes raining down and there's nothing to be done, just call it a day and wait for the clouds to part, I know. And they will, but you are more likely to feel better sooner if you're able to engage in some form of CBT or writing/relaxation exercise in addition to medication. I know you're waiting for Parnate to "kill it" but what any med will do is just lower the volume for awhile. Which is great, don't get me wrong, but I went years without actually engaging the thoughts, challenging the patterns, because it was too scary or uncomfortable, and I relied on the meds to do their job. But the patterns, especially with obsessional ocd, are so damn predictable and ugly, that you really can start to get a focus on what is and isn't ocd, what is and isn't who you are. Only within the last couple of years have I been able to really come to grips with seeing and believing the ocd patterns/anxiety as the fuel, the template. That the content of the thoughts are symptoms, completely arbitrary, just filler for whatever causes anxiety, whatever maintains the ocd pattern. Meaning that the thoughts and moods, the reactions to people, ideas, situations are not unique to those people, ideas, or situations, that it's the ocd and the automatic thought patterns and associations that accompany the ocd thoughts that really are to blame. I don't know if I'm making too much sense. What I'm trying to say is that with therapy and a lot of convincing I've been able to take a lot of the poison out of obsessional ocd thoughts. I know that when the ocd and anxiety is full tilt that it's unbearable, and I'm really sorry you have to deal with it. I just want to say you're not alone and obsessional ocd can be tamed.
It's not lethal, it's not catastrophic, it just feels that way and I know how horrible it is, but it's not who you are. It's just the thoughts and the thoughts really really suck. Please stay strong and work with the prescribed meds as best you can, hopefully without complicating matters with other drugs.
tt
poster:tom_traubert
thread:716104
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061224/msgs/717111.html