Posted by Guy on August 25, 2005, at 16:07:06
Well, I thought I was somewhat stable, but I guess I thought wrong. For the past few days, my sleep has been really spotty (if I don't fall asleep within 20 minutes, I'm up the whole night). Anyways, the pain in my head and down my spinal chord is incredible, and Tylenol barely the edge off. I just went for a 4k run, and that helped somewhat, but the headache remains. After 9 years of this #@*! I'm almost ready to call it quits, and I find myself thinking more and more about "how" rather that "if." I am currenty taking 30 mg Remeron and 1 1/2 mg clonazepam plus tons of Tylenol to help dull the pain. No doctors take my suffering seriously, because after all, I have complained for 9 years and still haven't acted on my suicidal impulses. I personally feel my nervous system has been seriously and permanently damaged by all the meds I have tried over the years...this type of chronic pain with no identifiable pathology just can't be natural. If this is all I have to look forward to for the rest of my life, then there really is no point. My challenge now is to work up my courage and get the job done. I once thought the Canadian medical system had a safety net for people like me, but now I know I'm pretty much on my own.