Posted by Ilene on July 7, 2005, at 19:34:47
In reply to i can't get myself to do anything., posted by iforgotmypassword on July 7, 2005, at 16:13:26
> it takes enormous amounts of willpower to even approach any task, let alone pursue it to completion. everything i do, i do clumsily. i cannot express myself, no matter the situation with people. i am incapable of sustaining any interest in any sort of activity or subject. i do not have any friends, and i am not fond of the people i do associate with. doctors and other professionals have negated the idea that i suffer from any legitimate mood disorder and that my problems specifically lie in my harmful personality. they are unwilling to pursue any creative medication or treatment regimes except in the case where i do all the research that i have limited capability of doing as i have zero dependable functionality. i am unaware of any way to make myself into a functional individual and find a life worth living. i am now 21, havent completed high school, have a rapidly declining IQ, don't work, and it seems that i am solidifying into this dispicable mess. looking for help to end my life is a fruitless struggle with societies immature views of suicide. does anyone know of any way to overcome personality disorder and functional paralysis so that someone can have some level of dignity. medications, nutrients, or somatic treatments perferred. thanx. :)
You sound a lot like me, except I am 30 years older. You sound depressed--I'm surprised you haven't been diagnosed w/ major depression. Maybe you need a new pdoc. Have you told him or her you're suicidal? That usually gets people's attention.
I'm on meds, but they don't do too much anymore. I had ECT but it didn't do anything either. I was in a partial hospitalization program for a few months, but it didn't help either. It's down to me. I've been taking small steps in putting my life together. I'll be getting a new pdoc soon. I do some volunteer work. I'm starting hobbies again. I force myself to do a tiny amount of necessary but unpleasant work every day, such as pay bills. I still look forward to bedtime because then I don't have to search for something to do to stave off the boredom. OK, off to the post office to mail the bills I paid today. Then there is a sink full of dishes. I can listen to the radio while I do them. Maybe I'll start a sewing project this evening.
Ilene
poster:Ilene
thread:524669
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050702/msgs/524722.html