Posted by ravenstorm on July 24, 2004, at 16:03:18
In reply to Re: Hanging by a thread..., posted by platinumbride on July 24, 2004, at 12:44:12
Yes, do post more if you feel well enough. In the worst of it this winter I couldn't reach out at all. It is a testament to your strength over this disease that you were able to.
I finally had to ask my husband to contact some friends from a healing circle I belonged to, because I didn't even have the energy to pick up the phone. They set up a series of times that different people would come just to be with me. I would just cry and cry and cry. There wasn't really anything they could do, and I was so embarrassed to be in the condition I was in, but they really saved my life. They didn't make the depression/anxiety any better, but once more people were involved, I felt I really couldn't kill myself anymore. It felt like I would be letting them down/ripping apart their lives if I committed suicide. Co-dependent? You bet. Did it keep me on this Earth? Yep.
Oddly enough, several years ago, one of the women who came to be with me had cancer, and I was one of the people that came to help her. When I would feel bad about them spending all this time on me, and me not really getting much better, she would remind me that I did the same for her, and at the time no one expected her to live either.
If you don't have the energy to reach out to people, just reach out to one and then have that one coordinate whatever help you need with others.
One of these women even had to come and do laundry for me, because I couldn't even do that! (And my husband wasn't being helpful in the least) I am one of the most independent people I know and that was hard for me at first. This disease can be very humbling. The fact that these women saw me like this and still loved me unconditionally humbles me more, though. Amazing.
Let people care for you. You deserve to be loved and cared for. Someday when you are well, you can return the favor.
We are all here for you.
poster:ravenstorm
thread:367118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040724/msgs/370026.html