Posted by nicko on June 12, 2004, at 4:35:03
In reply to RE: thanks, posted by nicko on June 12, 2004, at 0:44:39
> hey all im back, first question i want to know is, i just looked at my packet again and it says laxapro, not lexapro, same thing or different? LOL
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> thanks for your advice so far, i ended up taking a sedative lastnight (well i should say this morning) it helped but i still woke up many times but went back to sleep.
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> when i finally decided to get up i felt terrible, massive headache, blocked nose, and worrying about everything and anything i couldn't eat and my mouth is dry, yeah i am complaining alittle too much, but i just needed to get it off my chest, i honestly feel like im going insane and all i keep thinking about is that little pill and the fact that i don't want to take it anymore, My anxiety would be about 9 just thinking about it, i wonder if its doing me more harm then good.
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> Ok i guess its time to come clean with myself and you guys whats really making things worse, i have a family member whom i care for and have for basically my whole life who suffers schizophrenia, its obviously in my genes so i worry about it, I've discussed that with dr's before, what are my chances most say low about 2% etc but that doesn't make me feel better, ive been told I would have shown symptoms years ago, im in my early 30s now.
> What makes it real tough is i know how they think, what they worry about, what stresses them and what doesn't, if that makes sense, for example i know a certain situation would make them feel uneasy, or a horror movie would make then feel its possible true or related to them some how, so then i wonder am i feeling that too? or am i just saying that to myself? god its hard to explain! hope you guys can understand what I am trying to say, that's why taking this drug is making me feel so uneasy, i feel like it will trigger that sleeping GENE i have.sigh, lastnights panic i had scared shit out of me, i thought here i go, im going mad, I think this constant worry is what started my mild depression in the first place, that plus i had many month of ill health.
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> Sorry for the long post guys, I just needed to get some things off my mind, its kinda coming time to take the tablet again and i don't think i can do it..*cries* this feeling really sucks.Ok the best i could do was take a 1/4 i know i shouldn't self medicate but that is all i could do considering my anxious state, that or nothing.LOL
This time i said, Nopeeeeee not gonna think about it, i took it and come on the pc and started chatting to a friend on chat. but then i started i started to feel so called (high) again, dizzy (light headed) sleepy etc.
When that starts i get anxious even more, i feel not in control if that makes sense, See ive never taking any drugs in my life and i rarely drank because i hate the feeling of having no control.(wow i think im a control freak) lol
I then start thinking and thinking, wondering what if i lose control and do something stupid or silly, i didn't help that i did some web surfing and read that some people taking these sorts of anti depressant drugs acted violently, then i get myself more anxious and worried for thinking that, i go through omg did i really think that? why? and then i feel my face getting flushed and my heart racing and here we go again. I know it all boils down to the fact that ive lived with a schizophrenic family member my whole life and have heard their fear after fear of this that and the other thing happening, and offcourse i know none of it is true, but if i think something silly, like i did above, i start getting really tense thinking omg i have it, does that make any sense what so ever?
poster:nicko
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040608/msgs/355975.html