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Re: Depakote is not a sexy drug, but it works » fluffy

Posted by katia on February 5, 2004, at 14:07:37

In reply to Depakote is not a sexy drug, but it works, posted by fluffy on February 5, 2004, at 10:36:33

Hi katy,
Good for you! Glad to hear it. i had a feeling it would work. I have been feeling better for the past month - very good. But I feel like I'm starting to lose my grip. The good mood is starting to become ugly and I feel the depression creeping up. Sigh. Maybe I am bipolar after all...I've been crazy obessessed with buying a house. I put my first offer in yesterday to a townhouse that was JUST put on the market that day and already there were two others outbidding me. It's starting to get to me. It's tough process buying a house esp. in this cut throat envirnonment. I'm losing my enthusiasm and energy and stability...is it the house situation or my mood disorder? It's so confusing. Maybe I'm just having a bad day. I just started Antabuse that could be it. I'm sick of being on meds and think I do better w/o at this point. Even the antabuse is too much I think.

It is amazing the assurance I feel when (possibly?) hypomanic- the absolute conviction that I have finally transformed and gotten to solid optimistic ground; that I have a clear head now and won't let depression creep back in - I feel too in control. But it does. It's so crazy how much I don't want to admit that my good mood was hypomanic. I just can't do it. I think what happens in the next few days will be an indicator as to if I'm cycling or not. And it's the f-cked up mixed states that get me - I'm experiencing a mild one today - a prelude to more to come? Hope not.
Oh boy....this is not easy.
I'll ride this out and see if it gets worse or better.
good to hear from you. I was wondering what was happening.
katia


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