Posted by Donna Louise on December 24, 2003, at 7:34:41
In reply to Re: When are meds justified? emotional flatness, posted by fogmama on December 23, 2003, at 22:52:20
> Hi sip, Donna Louise, brussel --
>
> I am new here. I'm not on any meds; I have only taken over the counter amino acids & herbs for depression in the past.
>
> I was struck by the fact that the three of you are writers ... as am I. Currently jobless, other than being a new mother ... and yet I can't seem to get my s*** together to write, nor to do anything else for that matter. This is severely affecting my family economics, and it's time to make a change.
>
> Not sure whether meds are the right option, especially as I'm nursing for the next 6+ months ... but I related so much to sip's description of how she felt without them in the past - that whole sad vortex of suffering, feeling worthless, self-negation that we sink into. I'm ready to stop it, but scared of losing the impetus to create ... and yet I recognize that depression is also keeping me from making anything of my art.
>
> I once read an essay by a writer I respect, who had gone onto Prozac. She said she felt like the same person, except that she could get done the things that she had not been able to get done. That's exactly what I want! But I am still afraid of flipping some switch that will turn me into someone entirely different. An acceptable wife and mother, perhaps, maybe even a productive and fully employed citizen ... but maybe not me. Maybe that would be OK. I don't know.
>
> Well that's all. Thank you all for including the detail that you're writers. I feel less alone.
>
> fogmamaFogmama, love that moniker! I sure do understand your dilemna. I wasted (?) a few years resisting meds, sure that I could think my way out of it or just have more mental discipline. Or that I could just improve my faith in a higher power. Well, I just ended up feeling like a huge failure since I couldn't pull it off. So I surrendered and took the meds. Then I realized I was trying to fix my broken brain with a broken brain. Anyway, I didn't know how much better I could feel until I felt the difference. I have had to take a bunch of different meds over the years as my brain physiology changed (anyone, can you elaborate on that phenom?). and have settled on my current regimen for the time being, as long as it will last! This includs 20mg of prozac, the only SSRI that does not cause any significant emotional flattening. Just enough to keep me out of the bed after seeing rode kill! You can always try it and quit if you don't like it. I would forget I had that option..
poster:Donna Louise
thread:289528
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031219/msgs/293074.html