Posted by RRCarlo on November 23, 2003, at 7:36:47
In reply to Re: BP Disorder II and Irritability, posted by Smilez on November 22, 2003, at 23:12:54
> I feel so good seeing others with BPII *and* irritability. ((((hugs to you all fellow sufferers)))) Until recently, I had assumed all BP disorders were the same. It is good to finally have a name for what I have been enduring. BPII
>
> Do you mind if I rant a little here rather than me starting a new thread??
>
> I have always felt tense and edgey, even though my friends said I was usually mellow with occasional "intense" moments. But lately, the littlest things sideswipe me and cause me to become engulfed in fits of rage, slamming things in frustration like phones, books, and even recently, my fist on my wall or doing a primal yell.
>
> My year as been horrid. It includes a divorce to an ex who won't leave me alone, a 26% rent increase, a state mandated demotion with unwanted reassignment (budget cut caused) to a city 50 miles away and the crappiest new neighbors I've EVER had after living here for 10 years.
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> I gained 31 pounds in just a few months by feeding my rages with food.
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> I wake up daily feeling hopeless and all too often, suicidally depressed. But by the end of the day I am usually so angry I can't maintain a decent conversation without it coming out.
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> I became so angry at my new heartless boss that in one meeting with her, I got lost in visions of blowing my brains out all over her desk to "show" her how her petty refusal to allow me transfered nearer to my home (and save me $300 a month in the process) affected my life. Of course, all she saw infront of her was a blubbering employee. (I cry when suppressing rage)
>
> I went running to a doctor immediately after that episode and after several sessions, I was diagnosed as ADD and Bipolar II with irritability.
>
> He wanted me on meds right away (do you blame him?) and I balked. I had been given Paxil several years before and it made things miserable for me. he convinced me to take Wellbutrin and as I am still very very edgy (gritting my teeth all day edgy) he added Topamax. I have had it for two days and haven't take it yet, but I will tomorrow. Being one who was raised homepathic, it kills me just taking ONE pill daily. The thought of two a day bums me out further.
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> I think the most depressing thing about all this is that he said I need to be on meds for at least two years. :(
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> Has anyone else here had Wellbutrin/Topamax for BPII?
>Smilez,*take your meds* Don't contemplate, study, dilly-dally, etc. Take them! It's the only way you will know if they're helping. If you don't take them, you *know* what will happen: more of the same.
When I was first diagnosed I was in much of the same state as you. The meds helped a lot. Lately, a rough patch has my depression in high gear, hence the switch to Lexapro.
poster:RRCarlo
thread:281626
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031121/msgs/282763.html