Posted by ramsea on November 22, 2003, at 7:40:37
In reply to Re: BP Disorder Irritability, posted by RRCarlo on November 21, 2003, at 7:04:39
For a couple of years, until recently, I awoke with what I can undramatically call the horrors--severe dread, anxiety and panic. Despair too. I was taking antidepressants, tried many types, and Ativan (benzo. Sometimes also Seroquel and Neurontin.
The antidepressants were a mistake, as I have BP 1, and they sent me into Mixed States--which are very, deeply, distressing mental states combining hyperexcitement, manic flight of ideas and racing thoughts, reduced need of sleep, and energy to spare---along with all the components of major depression.
It is a shame I didn't receive proper treatment for this condition sooner. Well, I am still here anyway. But I will probably never be scripted anti-depres again. For someone with my condition, though very depressed, the antidepressants serve only to worsen agitation/anxiety/panic and negativity in general. Rather than being very negative and sleeping a lot, or unable to do much, I become very negative and still have a hypomanic/manic desire to do things, interact, and so forth--which can mean causing trouble for myself with others (being rude, hurtful, impatient--I am not violent by nature but can sound too aggressive and unpleasant to others).
It can also lead to substance abuse as it is a pretty near intolerable mental condition. The happy part of this story is my family is still loving me and the lithium has been able to calm my dysphoric mania/hypomania.
The dysphoria is over and I wake up feeling fine--this is about two months of feeling better. I feel like it is a miracle. I take 800 mgs. lithium and 25-50 mgs of Seroquel for sleep. Nothing else. My social anxiety problem still remains, but I am on disability now and just have to live with it. My psych says the fewer drugs I have to take the better--for me anyway.
My solution is of course not likely to be yours, you are unique in your chemistry/situation. But I did want to share that you are not alone with the terrible waking-up thing---it was so very, very intolerable for too long. Yet now I am over it (knock on wood)--and that means you too can find a way to stop this. It wasn't psychological for me, just chemical.
poster:ramsea
thread:281626
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031121/msgs/282431.html