Posted by BarbaraCat on September 27, 2003, at 0:36:28
In reply to Re: Barb-cat...or anyone who can help me decide, posted by fluffy on September 26, 2003, at 10:51:20
Hi Katy,
Well, I'm feeling better today. It's like the weather - wait and it'll change. Saw Pirates of the Caribbean and it was great. Talk about two different guys - Jack Sparrow and Will Turner. But I'm in love with them both! Guess that's why they call me bipolar.I like your decision tree idea. So, you've decided to go on tri for sure? You will be our official test pilot. I'm going to stay on lithium and ask for time release. I feel better today and hence feel better about my drugs, but I will be increasing lam slowly up to around 200mg. From all accounts, it seems like the magic number and from that point on doesn't cause the activation, so I hear. I'm also hoping that I'll eventually feel like dragging my butt around the block or something because THAT is the best antidepressant going. I think that's the whole idea for me behind taking these meds - getting to a place where I can start moving my stuck energy again.
You know, what you're describing about your bipolar starting only after taking SSRI's, if that's what I read correctly, sounds like Bipolar-III or BP-IV. I'm not too familiar with the treatment details since I'm most definitely BP-I,II (or am I?) but I recall that the treatment is somewhat different. So perhaps that's why lithium didn't work for you since it's more a BP-1,II thing. Of course, with all the esoteric stuff we're all taking and all disorders overlapping into the other, who knows what anymore. Don't remember if I asked this, but have you tried mongo doses of fish oil, as in liquid? I do think it's helping me. Makes the cell membranes more fluid.
My vacation was so-so. My husband had hernia surgery and it was too soon, so we came back early. Then we went to a wonderful place on the ocean which was great until another couple joined us. My husband and the guy are friends, but I've always had a problem with the woman. A whiny victim/martyr bitch who complains about everything, is clearly mood challenged and refuses to get help, choosing to blame everyone else constantly, as in all the friggin' time. I felt like a toxic waste dump site. Wore me down and trashed my good mood until I finally said 'Look, you've had these exact same problems ever since I've known you and I can't listen to it anymore. It's time to shit or get off the pot. Get a divorce, quit your job, tell your abusive ungrateful jerky kids to leave you alone, put up or shut up, but above all - GET HELP!!'. Well, you can imagine what a lovely time we all had after that. They left early and hub and I enjoyed the rest of our time at the ocean.
I'll probably arrange to meet with her to talk about this more civally and maybe she'll be open to my observations that she really is hurting and in need of more help than her acquaintances can provide. I sure hope so for her sake, but at least I probably won't have to see her much anymore - yay!
You know, we're all dealing with alot of stuff and we all have some days worse than others and moan more sometimes, but jeez, you've at least got to try! Here among my friends on this board, we've all been through hell, but we're at least trying the best we can to do the work, get help, pay for the office visits and meds, come up for air time and time again. Even though we have real bad times of paralysis and rage and stupidity, and even though we sometimes just want to roll over and give up - we don't, and it's damned hard work but we keep on fighting for our lives - and that's what I love about us. It's that 'I don't need help - it's all their fault so why should I do anything' whining victim crap that makes me see red. People who aren't willing to do the work and yet think it's OK to use everyone around them as trash recepticles - cowards! Hrmmph! I better stop now and think about something nice before I start acting as detestible. In fact, the swing I just experienced from the beginning of this post to now makes me wonder if I have cyclothymia!
So, how was your show? Haven't heard about the outcome of it. You were feeling a little rocky beforehand. Did you manage to maintain your equanimity? There, I feel better. Hasta - Barbara
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:238206
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030923/msgs/263667.html