Posted by catmint on January 26, 2003, at 1:44:46
In reply to Re: New to Depakote-Can someone tell me how it works?, posted by juanantoniod on January 24, 2003, at 19:56:26
>>If I get to that point and ECT doesn't work, I will then pursue voluntary euthanasia.
Be careful what you tell yourself! You don't want a self-fulfillling prophecy to happen. Believe me, I have felt as hopeless as this, I know how deep and dreadful depression can be, but you must know that there is hope. Keep talking to your friends, keep trying as hard as you can to think positively about getting better.
Antonio, you are on a lot of meds. Are you going to ditch any of them once you start the Depakote and Lexapro?
What are the stims for? How long have you been on them? Why has your pdoc prescibed them to you? I've heard of stims for mild depression but not for major.
You asked how Lamictal has changed my mood and state of mind? Mostly, I feel less claustrophobic in the world.
Depression made me feel like I had everything figured out, nothing suprised me, nothing excited me. Everything pissed me off, like I could never get any control. I'd react to everything. When things did go my way, I wouldn't be happy, just anxious as all hell, because I couldn't stop obsessing over when the next bad moment would come, which was always inevitable.I am still anxious, Lamictal hasn't cured that. But it's a different kind of anxiety, not a deep existential one. I'm also irritable, but that is a commom side effect and it goes away quicker than you'd expect.
The sadness still lingers in the distance; when the morning dose wears off it wants to rear its ugly head, *but* I have not had any crying spells in quite a while which is amazing, as that would always be a precursor to suicidal ideation.
I used to think I needed a stimulant so I tried to con my pdoc into giving me an ADD diagnosis on top of the bipolar one just so I could get some. She wouldn't go for it. I tried lots of coffee, ginseng, blue-green algae, yerba mate, wellbutrin, you name it. Nothing has worked except Lamictal. It helps so much.
All in all, I am crossing my fingers on this one. I am a bit wary that the effects might wear off, but as my friend Colin put it, we need to make the most of it before the mileage is up. Right now, for the past 6 or 7 weeks that I have been on it, the world is opening up again, and some of my interest are starting to intrigue me again. I feel better than I have in many, many years.
Hang in there Antonio, hope to hear from you.
Amy
poster:catmint
thread:137244
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030125/msgs/137584.html