Posted by BarbaraCat on August 21, 2002, at 1:46:12
In reply to Re: Neurontin, posted by momo3 on August 20, 2002, at 21:44:08
Dear Holly,
Having 3 babies so close in age and toddlers - wow. That is amazing, my head reels at the thought. But they must bring you so much joy and baby magic. That's one joy I'll never know, but my cats fill the gap. My husband sounds like yours, also very laid back, pragmatic. Sometimes he drives me nuts with the laid backness, but he's the only guy who has been a solid rock during all my phases.I also started drinking early. The first time I got drunk was at a friend's pajama party where we raided the parent's liquor cabinet. It was like splendor in the grass, literally. My teen years were miserable and by the time I was in 10th grade I discovered amphetamines. It was like a light went on, finally. The next 5-6 years were spent in a haze (I'm a child of the 60's). I also was self-medicating and the only time I felt OK with the world was when I was dancing or high, usually both. I still have an occasional bout with alcohol. I love love love chardonnay but get really screwed up on it. My husband had the *talk* with me on more than one occasion and I promise every time because I know it's not good for my delicate nervous system. But oh, for that instant bliss, that soothing lulling warm place. I've yet to find a med that compares. Neurontin doesn't do a thing, but then again, I haven't had the urge lately, so maybe it's working.
I wish sometimes (most times) that I could curb my anger, my withering scorn, my sharp comments. I end up feeling remorseful for hurting feelings and burning bridges. Usually it's simply a case of taking things too personally, both ways. But you know, sometimes I'm the only one who will stand up and speak my truth, I'm the only one in a group whose bullshit meter is twanging. I'm proud of my courage and honesty, it's a part of me that feels strong and true. But sometimes I long to just flow with life and not be such a lone rebel struggling against the tide - it's exhausting and I don't even know who I'm fighting. Hey Holly, I'll bet if I lived in TX we'd have a gas hanging out, dishing and kvetching, romping with the chilluns, and not getting melanoma. - Barbara
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:107896
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020814/msgs/117209.html