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Re: Cyclothymia mood stabilizers » Listohep

Posted by Zo on May 24, 2002, at 16:56:10

In reply to Re: Cyclothymia mood stabilizers, posted by Listohep on May 22, 2002, at 9:19:36


Oh, my. I'm a writer and painter who has been hung up with undiagnosed Bipolar II--and ADD, and TLE, which all three are related, or perhaps faces of the same thing, related to Kindling. . .which is so much a part of creativity, the separation of diagnoses becomes pointless; what is important is to become stabilized at just the right point.

And I am here to tell you, after many many lost years, that the adjustment to being "mood stabilized" evoked only a very brief sense of loss, with me, in that this wonderful peace began. . .and out of it, more mature work than I was ever capable of doing. As well as follow-through! It took very little practice to reaccess the writing state, and in six months, I must admit, I never think of the highs anymore. Never miss them--so much so that perhaps one becomes in a way addicted to them, dependent upon that feeling of being high. People told me it wasn't necessary, to creativity, to happiness. I didn't really believe it, but was so depressed and exhausted by Bipolar II, I took the Lamictal anyway.

Only when profound suffering is over, can one begin to unravel the myths, even begin to use the experience in one's art, oneself, in a rewarding way--which is the best reward of all.

Zo


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