Posted by ST on May 5, 2002, at 6:17:21
In reply to Re: Ugly.., posted by LiLAngelJenna on May 4, 2002, at 18:06:59
I want you to know that your brother is being fueled by your insecurities. It sounds dumb and trite, but the changes need to begin with you, not him. You need to find a reason to feel good about yourself and slowly, slowly, slowly what he says will begin to sound foolish. You are being kept in an environment that is simply pushing you further and further down. It would be great if you could have a heart to heart talk with your mom and request that she exert some authority over what kind of crap is being said in her home. She may not realize how devastating your brother's comments are due to her own life-long hang ups. Your brother has some serious issues and is making himself feel better by putting you in your place.
What are you good at? Find it and start doing it -a lot. Also, maybe start to exercise if you don't already. Moving your body every day will give you so much confidence about how you move and feel and eventually how you look. Yoga is great for this. Or if you could take a dance class (not ballet or anything with a strict form) that would be great for you.
I was called ugly over and over and over and over till...I don't even remember when it stopped. It stopped mattering and I knew those people were wrong at SOME point - I don't remember when - and so their comments eventually stopped.
I'm in a business where my looks are evaluated and discussed on a daily basis. I'm an actress. I'm telling you, I used to be OBSESSED with how I looked. People told me I was ugly, so that's all I thought about. Now that everyone else is obsessed with how I look (agents, managers, casting directors, directors, makeup artists, lighting designers, photographers), I'M not obsessed. Hey, a few days ago, I was refused an audition because I am "not beautiful". They didn't say "ugly", but it still hurt. But it really doesn't matter, actually. I feel good about myself. Anyway, I'm jumping ahead about ten spaces. You're at the point where you probably just want to crawl in to a hole and die because you feel repulsive. It will get better. Find what makes you special. You ARE special. There IS something about you. Find it. Your brother hasn't found it in himself yet and this is why he acts this way.
Good luck,
SarahPS: I ended up getting a nose job about 7 years ago....I'm not suggesting getting plastic surgery. But the funny thing is, I'm no "prettier" now than I used to be. I feel pretty and good about myself and my body NOT because of the plastic surgery, but because of other things. I actually had gotten to a point where I truly and honestly felt OK about my nose and my looks. So when I got the nose job, I wasn't expecting it to make me beautiful or different or something. I just simply have a smaller nose now. The rest was already in place. I don't know if this info hurts or helps...but there it is!
poster:ST
thread:104973
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020503/msgs/105132.html