Posted by JohnX2 on December 21, 2001, at 23:09:15
In reply to Santa Claus Adderall?, posted by JohnX2 on December 19, 2001, at 19:14:16
Hi Gang!Ok, here's what transpired with the
pdoc (i type this as i come off a hypomania).Please excuse the long message, as i am
a bit hypomanic.Basically I stumbled on to Topamax 2 weeks
ago and it has been a safe haven with regards
to relieving severe myofacial pain that to date
has only resonded reasonably to klonopin, and
I have tried literally every anti-convulsant
and mood stabilizer besides lithium. Other
meds that have worked were intolerable or addictive
(Serzone/Klonopin). For some reason, my body loves
Topamax, I just bumped the dose to 400 mg/day and I
only get slight benzo like side effects. The lab rats
that they invented this on must have had dna like
mine or something. I dunno. Maybe this is a my
gift from Santa. I was just about to think that
I would be on Klonopin forever.So my current pdoc is the first to diagnose me
as Bipolar II. I sorta fit the discription, but not
really, but at the same time you could make an argument
that i fit the discription for add. Its a tough
call sometimes for the hypomania.Generally I am just dysphoric and really antsy. I can't
sit still and feel very compelled to get up and move around.
Driving my car calms me down greatly. Sensory input is good.
Drinking caffeine is good. Before learning about
psychiatry I always wondered why I had this really
bizzare caffeine addiction (If I didn't have it I
couldn't sit still, whereas most people get edgy).
Before slumping into depression ~3 yrs ago, stimulants
always gave me a pretty good "buzz", although
I don't know what it does for someone else, i
assume it was stronger for me. maybe either without
the stimulant I was depressed, or with the
stimulant i was hypomanic? Or maybe I am mild
ADD and have a dopamine imbalance?Now, you could argue that I was hypomanic most of
the time and had stimulant cravings to feed more
fuel to the fire, lest slip into depression.
That seems to be my current pdocs position.He also seems to lean towards the school of thought
of staying on mood stablizers and away from ADs
until the last straw, so he was a bit pissed that
I started Wellbutrin on the sly. It was my 1st visit with
him that I was in an agitated state and had the
potential to blow up and screw the relationship
but I kept my cool and only got in one dig pointing
out that we agreed that we would try topamax five
months ago and it shouldn't have taken
so long to try it (ie. I should have know 4 months
back that it was a majic bullet).But he wanted a neurologist to address the headache
issue and there was a lot of doctor shuffling and crap which
I thought was bullshit. Just give me the damn med
and let me take it for a few days. What's the big
#%@$%@ deal who prescribes it. I hate the formality
BS. The pdoc is good (very well booked), but is
also very formal, which I hate.So when he asked why I started the wellbutrin
without asking, I said because "you would have
told me to wait for my next appointment before
taking any further action". He saw my point, but
asked me to stop the wellbutrin.He asked me to raise my Topamax dose from 200 mg
to 400 mg. I still take 150 Mg Lamictal and a pinch
of Zyprexa and ~ 4 mg Klonopin. He told me that
he wanted to wipe out all traces of hypomanic
symptoms and if I still had depression problems
then we could sneak an AD in the back door.
I told him I thought the higher dose of Topamax
would help with the Klonopin tapering but its
strong anti-manic effect may make me feel depressed.
He disagreed and said if anything it might make
me hypomanic. I asked about the restlessness and
he said it was hypomania/mixed state and should
go away if the mood stabilizer are working. I.E
I DON'T NEED A STIMULANT IN HIS OPINION.So I dopped WB to 100 mg (never drop a med
completly..always taper) and bumped Topamax to
400 mg and had a nice mexican dinner with 2
fishbowl margaritas (*uck it, its the holidays).
WHAMO, major hypomania struck with all the
dopamine to boot, but without the restlessness
shit. the GOOD hypomania. dopamine, grandiousity, talkativeness,
alertness, confidence, quick thoughts, etc.So don't know what clicked. Could just be
me cylcling. Or the WB kicked in. Or mixing
alcohol with drugs. dunno.BTW, I went into work on Tuesday and got
a call from my doctor confirming my Thursday
appt. I told the receptionist she was mistaken and
that the appt was Wednesday. She said i was wrong.
I popped up a calender and found out it was
indeed on Thursday, and that I missed work on
Monday. I don't know what happened to Monday.
No Bullshit. Last thing I remember was wathching
"Citizin Cane" on Saturday night and then sleeping
for a really really long time and then going into
work. Lost: Monday Dec 17, 2001. If you find it
will you please return it to me. thnx.Regards,
John>
> Well its that time of year and I opted out
> of visiting my family because I just saw the
> peckerheads in Nov and its too cold up there.
> So now I get some time to myself, but unfortunately
> that time may include the holidays. I don't want
> to be sitting in my bed depressed at this most
> vulnerable time of year for me. I'm still tinkering
> in the middle of a Wellbutrin trial, but don't know
> when it will kick in.
>
> So tomorrow I see my pdoc, and I'm wondering if it
> would be out of line to really push him hard just this
> once to write me a 2 week script for Adderall. This would
> get me through this tough time, help me lose the 15 lbs
> I gained on Zyprexa, and help me get a lot of things
> done around the house that have been sorely in need
> of attention. Personally, I'm not convinced I shouldn't
> be on a stimulant anyways. I've been prescribed
> Adderall twice by 2 other pdocs. So far Adderall is the only
> thing that consistantly relieved my depression. Go
> for it?
>
> -john
poster:JohnX2
thread:87478
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011213/msgs/87643.html