Posted by Elizabeth on October 30, 2001, at 20:37:42
In reply to Re: Borderline Personality Disorder , posted by Twain on October 30, 2001, at 15:14:11
A lot of people with BPD had chaotic, traumatizing childhoods. That sort of childhood history doesn't always result in a personality disorder, but it often does (I'm not sure how we'd go about gathering statistics!). Anyway given the way your life started out, I would be surprised if there weren't serious long-term effects on you. I hope that things are getting better for you now.
Cutting (sometimes called "self-injury," "self-mutilation," or "parasuicidal behavior") is a common symptom of BPD, but not everyone with BPD cuts and not everyone who cuts has BPD. I don't really understand why people compulsively cut or otherwise or otherwise hurt themselves, although I've know a number of people who do (or did) it. It seems to have some of the qualities of an addiction, and one person I know says that naltrexone helped her stop. People are also often helped by antidepressants and/or anticonvulsants.
> Seeking one cure after another for anxiety and depression I had all the amalgam (mercury) fillings removed and noticed a dramatic increase in energy. Couldn't handle it. Spent the next two years in and out of VA hospitals. Diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic and nearly committed.
That's strange. What do you mean when you say you couldn't handle the increase in energy -- were you becoming agitated? What happened?
> Finally, experienced relief when I, then a devout atheist, attended a pentacostal church that laid hands on the sick. Had a "born again" experience but it didn't turn me into a fundamentalist bible-thumper.
That's good :-) Whatever works, I say.
> But lately I've been slipping.
Have you continued going to church? That can be a great support. If not, I hope you have some sort of support network.
> Now a divorced dad raising my 16 year old daughter.
Ouch, that must be tough. I hope you're managing -- both of you.
> Tried numerous anti-depressants and even a few anti-psychotics.
Something that pops to mind is anticonvulsant mood stabilizers, like Depakote, Tegretol (or its newer cousin Trileptal), Lamictal, Topamax, and Neurontin; if the Neurontin you're taking now doesn't do the trick, I think it would be worthwhile to give the other ones a try. These drugs can help with "anger attacks" (as they're sometimes called). The efficacy of Depakote and Tegretol for these types of symptoms is particularly well-documented.
> Anyway, the past cutting behavior, the homocidal mother and childhood abandonment, the rage that comes out of nowhere, my histronic behavior, alcoholism and a tendency to manipulate people with charm - all seem to be borderline personality traits.
Jeez, I wish I could manipulate people with charm! (I'm *not* a charming person.) Consider it a gift, I say (just don't misuse it of course).
> I'm now taking neurotin but not sure after ten days whether it is helping. Any suggestions for this disorder? Although my current pdoc thinks PTSD is at the root of my problem.
Have you heard of complex PTSD? It's sort of a cross between PTSD and BPD. Here are a couple of good descriptions:
> Anyone else with BPD have cutting behavior?
Lots of people do, yes.