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Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Posted by Twain on October 30, 2001, at 15:14:11

In reply to Re: Borderline Personality Disorder , posted by PattyG on October 29, 2001, at 21:35:30

I was diagnosed BPD in 1990, in addition to schizophrenic, histronic, avoidant, anti-social, depressed, and so forth. In and out of hospitals. Now it's PTSD stemming from childhood trauma. Alcoholic mother stabbed my father in the chest in front of me when I was two. He lived. She used to threaten me and my sister with a knife and stick pins in us. Finally, my sister and I ended up in a foster home. My father was drunk and gone all the time.

Anyway, later in college, after more trauma in the army (early 70's), I started cutting myself for no reason. Face, arms, abdomen, legs,. This seems to be part of the Borderline Personality Disorder.

I quit cutting myself in my late 20's but major depression set in. After a decade of living in a virtual cave on the Oregon Coast, I got married during a brief relapse of sobriety.

Seeking one cure after another for anxiety and depression I had all the amalgam (mercury) fillings removed and noticed a dramatic increase in energy. Couldn't handle it. Spent the next two years in and out of VA hospitals. Diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic and nearly committed.

Finally, experienced relief when I, then a devout atheist, attended a pentacostal church that laid hands on the sick. Had a "born again" experience but it didn't turn me into a fundamentalist bible-thumper.

But lately I've been slipping. Now a divorced dad raising my 16 year old daughter. She came to live with me full time about a year and a half ago and I've been overwhelmed at times. Tried numerous anti-depressants and even a few anti-psychotics. Flew into a rage (not at my daughter) with the landlord, lawyer, and others. Serzone made me so angry.

Anyway, the past cutting behavior, the homocidal mother and childhood abandonment, the rage that comes out of nowhere, my histronic behavior, alcoholism and a tendency to manipulate people with charm - all seem to be borderline personality traits.

I'm now taking neurotin but not sure after ten days whether it is helping. Any suggestions for this disorder? Although my current pdoc thinks PTSD is at the root of my problem.

Anyone else with BPD have cutting behavior?




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