Posted by Cindy W on June 4, 2000, at 18:46:48
In reply to Re: I'm in love with my pdoc. Noa , posted by Noa on June 4, 2000, at 13:56:19
> Cass, sorry, I didn't mean to imply that by wanting to reassure you and soothe the anxiety he would say something he didn't mean. I am sure he meant it. I have no reason to doubt his integrity. I was just thinking about the urge to act on the impulse to say it, to soothe over the insecurity rather than work with you to understand it better. Which he can still do, too. That your very human feelings touched his very human feelings and the impulse to react to your feelings was acted on. Very real, very human. I was thinking more about how powerful his words are and how confusing it is when you have strong feelings for a therapist, and therefore how careful therapists should be with their powerful words. And when I say "should" I am saying so, knowing that all therapists are human and even the most skilled do or say things based upon impulse that might complicate the picture a bit.
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> Anyway, everything can become "grist for the mill", as they say. So, whatever your interpretation of what happened, it is a good idea to talk to your therapist about all the feelings you have.
> I hope you understand that what I shared with you was speculation on my part, and perhaps it was ill-advised for me to do so. I am sorry.
Cass, Noa, Ted, allisonm, I just got back from out of town and read Cass' post about being in love with her therapist. This thread is of great interest to me, because I also have a "transference" with my pdoc. "In Session" really made me think, and made me realize how much of my infatuation is projection of my own needs and wishes on someone who I respect, admire, and think is sexy but who I hardly even know. If I have the courage, I plan to discuss my transference with my therapist in the context of how I typically screw up relationships (I think I typically do this by falling in love with people, placing them on a pedestal, and finding out they have "clay feet" and being unable to maintain a good relationship with them then because they don't measure up to my "ideal"). So, Cass, I can really relate to what you say. Noa, allisonm, and Todd, your points were also very good. The older I get, the more I realize how much I'm just learning about people and about myself (I'm 48; maybe I'll understand these things by age 90!). P.S. I'm going to my pdoc tomorrow.--Cindy W
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poster:Cindy W
thread:35788
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000603/msgs/36024.html