Posted by Alan on May 15, 2000, at 10:27:44
In reply to Re: I beg to differ ..., posted by Cindy W on May 13, 2000, at 10:56:38
> Bob, I think the therapist needs to be someone the client doesn't know very well. As a psychologist and also a person in therapy, I find I do not know much about my therapist, except that he is very warm and caring; unfortunately, this makes me put him on a pedestal and I have a "crush" on him. On the plus side, my transference feelings are "grist for the mill" of therapy, since undoubtedly I relate to him in many of the same ways I relate to others in my life, and if I ever have the nerve to talk about all that with him, will be able to understand and change what I do. From what I have read, the therapeutic relationship is the main factor in client change; whether the therapist is warm, authentic and caring makes more difference than whatever theories or techniques the therapist uses. The client changes when he/she is ready to change and feels sufficiently emotionally supported to change habitual ways of feeling and acting. As a cognitive behaviorist, I find it amusing that in my own therapy, I want more of an analytic, dynamic type therapy! However, I think if I knew my therapist too well, as a friend or lover, neither of us could be objective enough to be honest (friends and lovers always have a hidden agenda, of meeting their own needs). Therefore, as a therapist, I believe that the therapist should not disclose too many personal details (since I work in a prison, disclosing personal information is forbidden and can even be dangerous). All this is my two cents worth...but I still am in love with my therapist!
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Cindy,
How do you get past or a handle on the "crush" part anyway? In my post above I described how it led to my female psychopharmacologist suggesting that I see someone else until I worked through that issue (I had disclosed to her my feelings after about a year).
Do you believe that she and I should have explored that issue rather than her suggesting that I work through it with my talk therapist?
Anyway, I see from this thread that this is more of a common problem than I thought.
I was at the time trying frantically to find info. on transference from every book at the bookstores but they all seemed to be so clinical in their discussion of transference. I wonder if there is a good book that discusses this subject in depth???
By the way your post was most informative to me and the "grist for the mill" concept made sense to me - that is what prompted me to respond to your post.
Thanks
Alan
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poster:Alan
thread:33299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000508/msgs/33476.html