Posted by Adam on March 16, 2000, at 18:43:42
In reply to Re: On the other hand...., posted by PattyG on March 15, 2000, at 22:56:05
> Hello again, Harry,
>
> Awesome posts........pretty amazing folks here, I'd say:) Wanted to comment on reference to some parents not being able to cope with a child's (regardless of age, for parents, their children are their children!)homosexuality. I think that can be because they realize the potential for heartache and what brings their children pain brings pain to parents.
>
Well, there's that. Some parents think it's just plain wrong though, and are so homophobic they can't even touch their kids afterward. You think I'm going to ever tell my Dad some of the stuff I mentioned above? No freakin' way. I've had enough grief. And I'm not even "gay", though he called me a pansy once or twice, actually, and hasn't disowned me; so maybe I underestimate him.> Also.......I thought the "ultimate fantasy" for a guy was supposed to be making it with two women! (Have to admit, I only just learned this several years ago as my own son and nephews grew older and joked around!)
>
For this guy it sure was. Then, wonder of wonders, the opportunity almost presented itself, in the form of a high-school friend who went to the same school she did. I think once the guy figures out that the whole thing isn't somehow contrived purely for his entertainment it gets a bit dicey. I went from "holy moly" to very jealous of the crush between them in about two days, and eventually put my foot down, so to speak, you know, "me or her, dammit," kind of thing. Way more stress than it's worth, IMO. I was such a hypocrit, though, because if I had a crush on a woman and she was into that, of course I'd have been thrilled. What a mess.> As for the Christianity aspect of things......it's tough for some people to deal with these issues. I believe it is a personal decision and my thought would be that your new friend, even if not interested in anything more than a platonic relationship, will be able to love you as a friend just as God loves you as His child.
I'm not sure it is a decision, at least for some people. I've been told more than once that you would have to be nuts to "decide" to be same-sex oriented in our society. I think some, like my ex-girlfriend, can go through their "try-sexual" stage in school and then, as she wound up doing, fall for some guy (not me, alas...or maybe not) and get married. Who knows? Besides pure curiosity in human behavior, I'm not sure it ought to matter, and I think it's absurd when some accuse homosexuals (just can't avoid these labels, can I) of depravity, like anyone can say what our "natural" sexual state is, anyway. Natural is probably whatever you feel like, and I imagine both innate and environmental (both physiological and psychological) factors play a role. Twin studies have shown a definite heritability for "gayness", but, remarkably, not all identical twins display the same sexual behaviors in that regard. Genetic studies have all shown equivocable associations with various polymorhisms at best, and nobody has zeroed in on an actual gene, despite the strong "penetrance" in some instances. This is not for want of searching. It's pretty amazing, really.
poster:Adam
thread:26935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000312/msgs/27230.html