Posted by Brenda on February 25, 2000, at 9:16:31
In reply to Feeling hopeless, posted by Ellen on February 25, 2000, at 7:28:19
> For the first time during my manic depression I can truly say I feel hopeless. My depression has been so bad and I am a rapid cycler that I feel as though I can barely keep my head above water. I have a great psychiatrist now but with all this med changing I am wondering if this shit ever ends. I am turning everyone away, especially my husband. He has been nothing but loving and supportive but I just push him away. I don't even want to go to my therapist any more. I feel like I have nothing to say to anyone. As crazy as this sounds my life line are my dogs. Usually when I have been on this site it has been in reponse to drugs and stuff, now I just needed to poor my guts out. I know that we are all in the same boat and I am not the only one that feels this awful. I could babble forever but I would just be boring everyone. I only hope that for all of us here that we can find the strength and courage to get through this. I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. Ellen
Ellen- I'm sorry to hear of your great sadness. I call it the BLACK HOLE. All the med trials can be so frustrating, and yes, emotionally and physically debilitating. You want to feel better, don't know when it will ever happen, then guilt for the family members who live with you. I've got 4 dogs and a supportive husband, too. Sometimes I'll just sit and cry with the dogs. The BLACK HOLE is soooo scary. Please hold on - that ray of light will come again from the top of the deep deep well. I don't know when, but hold on, okay. Talk about it, love your pets, your husband and family will still be there for you. My prayers are with you.
poster:Brenda
thread:23751
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000220/msgs/23761.html