Posted by Victoria on February 10, 2000, at 20:55:17
In reply to Re: living with someone who is bi-polar/peter pan, posted by Noa on February 10, 2000, at 17:52:48
> OY.
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> The reason I say "oy" is that I got a yucky feeling in my gut when I read your post.
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> I cannot begin to think I know what you should do.
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> BUT. The following stands out:
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> every single situation is always "all about him" instead of something that may affect others. he can be supremely insensitive to others' feelings...
> i am there for him when he needs me.
Kathleen: I identify with you torn emotions. The love of my life was moderately bi-polar and my niece is extreme with psychosis, so I have seen a range, and worked for over two years to get help for my neice survive. They both ultimately elected to avoid the disorder and my niece is barely still alive. Essentially, when they're fully cognitive of the depth and breadth of what your saying (i.e., get help or I'll leave) they can comply or try to, but there is no assurance when they are in the extreme swings of mania or depression that they can follow up. Very frequently, it requires an emergency visit to a mental health lock up before they recognize the seriousness of the disorder (unsafe to themselves or others, including drug/alcohol use -the prefered med). Unless they 1st recognize and strain to committ themselves to treatment which is often wrought with miserable side effects from the various drugs they will have to experiment with over a long period of time to find the right combo, there will never be an end in sight. Just a lot of agonizing heart ache for them and yourself and most of the time they won't even be aware that you are suffering for or with them. Their ego is all that exists, hence there is no one else to be concerned about, they don't do that intentionally, it is part of the disorder. Using reason i.e., thinking of others is not often even within the realm of their reality. Not until they find meds that assist them, it is not by will power or self control. I wish you a tremendous amount of strength and the ability to know when to let go when you see someone you love waivering on a (life threatening) precipice. To help may be the hardest thing you have ever done for a loved one or yourself, the hardest part being to let the person be who he is and move on.
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poster:Victoria
thread:21009
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000209/msgs/21071.html