Posted by Noa on January 5, 2000, at 19:49:33
In reply to Re: my particular obsession (longish), posted by Noa on January 5, 2000, at 19:37:05
BTW, biologically, some of us are more prone to feeling these kinds of feelings, and therefore, developing such beliefs. In Mapping the Mind (on Dr. Bob's book page), there is some discussion about how some people have more sensitive amygdalas, and are more perceptive and reactive to subtle nonverbal signals from other people, with a tendency to interpret things as slights or rejections. Then, put a person with this type of sensitivity in an environment that is prone to sending rejecting messages, well, you get the picture. For some, the kind of anxiety you are talking about is part of their social phobia cluster of symptoms. For others, non-optimal environmental contributions, like a parent who is dependent on alcohol, for example, seem to be more prominent among the mix of factors that (interactively) are likely to have contributed to the need for confirmation that one is liked.
What discussing this here, or reading a book, or going into therapy, can do, is to bring into service the functions of the neocortex, ie the thinking, logical part of our brain, to try to "manage" the amygdala, the fear-based, preverbal, reactive part of our brain. We cannot change the amygdala. But we can try to strengthen our ability to rationally challenge that irrational part. It doesn't make the irrational feelings disappear altogether (and many of us need medication to help), but it helps us cope better.
poster:Noa
thread:18076
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000101/msgs/18133.html