Posted by Noa on November 23, 1999, at 16:24:27
In reply to They asked, you told (my tactic: little white lie), posted by CarolAnn on November 23, 1999, at 8:08:52
this is a really tough question, and always a risk. At my last job, where I worked among mental health professionals, some of my close colleagues knew, but not my boss. At my current job, where I work among educators, and some mental health professionals, I did tell. My boss, an educator, has been very supportive. But I can't say whether another person's situation is right for disclosing or not. It is hard to tell. Jennyann was fired. Adam says he was promoted after taking a months worth of mental health days in a row. Clearly there is no right answer.
Carolann, your post made me think of all the times when people ask what is wrong when a person is out sick. I realized a long time ago not to ask unless it is someone you are close to. I was working in a school and I asked a student, in what I thought was a friendly manner, what was wrong, she said, well if you must know, I have a vaginal infection. Boy did she show me. I realized how intrusive a question it is that many people just ask without thinking, assuming it is a friendly gesture to ask. Now I am keenly aware because of my own situation that I do not want people asking me what is wrong. It is ok for them to wish me well, etc. but too intrusive to ask about the nature of the illness. A few years ago I went to a doctor in a big managed care practice where you checked in at a main desk, and a clerk would fill out a form with you,and would ask, in full earshot of the entire waiting room, what you were here to see the doctor about. I said I would tell the doctor myself, and stopped going there soon after that.
Right now, several of my coworkers know about my current bout of depression, and my history of chronic depression, but I do not want others to know. There is one busybody that seems very curious as to why I am in and out of the office. Bugger on her! If she comes out and asks directly (she has asked indirect questions so I have been able to be evasive and vague, ie giving the hint to leave me alone) I don't know what I will say, but I might end up being rude, cuz it will bug me.
My boss has said I can cut my hours back temporarily if it will help. I might. I also left her a message today asking if I can sit down with her and go over all the stuff that has piled up and review it with her because I am feeling shaky about how thorough I can be right now on my own. I think I will need this level of hand holding for a while to function at work, and I am getting good signals from them that they are willing to provide it. Hopefully it won't be for long, if my new meds kick in. If they don't that is another story. I start lithium tomorrow, as soon as the scrip is filled and I pick it up. I also increased my serzone a bit, and my ritalin is up a bit because i started the SR version, to avoid the rebound irritability I was having (which compared to my current depressive state is just a minor irritant, not a major problem). Hopefully, the increased serzone will help with the sleep and tone down the night time fidgiteness, and the lithium will hopefully address the untreated "refractory" depression cycles I have. This one seems like a cycle thing , because it seems unrelated to any situation or event, whereas it is often easy to attribute my bouts of depression to something that happened. I will keep you posted. Sorry such a long post.
poster:Noa
thread:15628
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991123/msgs/15699.html