Posted by Noa on November 23, 1999, at 21:40:58
In reply to Re: To tell or not to tell...., posted by Adam on November 23, 1999, at 20:20:24
I also used to keep it all under wraps. I made a "change in policy" this summer by telling my parents, although I had told them about fifteen years ago, after I got out of the hospital then. Only they, and I, for that matter, believed that my depression would be something I would "get over". I made steady improvement, with occasional bouts, over the years, but then in the past six years or so, it has been an up and down but definitely worsening course, with more frequent and more severe episodes as time goes on. I guess this year has been the worst, due to a major stressor in the spring, and this gave me an "excuse" to tell my parents. I felt I needed their support, and they have given it. Some of the support has been financial, some encouragement, understanding. The decision to tell my boss wasn't planned, but it seemed the only thing to do at that moment. The two coworkers I told have also been very supportive. there is one other person at work who is a close friend who has known all along. He is the one who practically dragged me out of bed the other day. Sometimes his approach to it all is not what I believe is helpful, but I always appreciate his attempts, and that he cares so much. he has been ther for me. For example, he came over last year and helped me clean up my mess of an apartment because the landlord was coming over to renew the lease, and wanted to see the condition of the place. Sometimes this friend has some quirky ideas about what would help, well actually they aren't such strange ideas, it's just that he gets so literal and concrete about them. For example, he really believes in good nutrition and exercise, so he says the reason I was depressed this week is because of how I ate. It sounds inane, so I just overlook this stuff, because the truth is he supports the approach I decide to take, for example checking in to see how my pdoc appointment went, when I start new meds, etc. I have also told my brother who is supportive, although he seems not to know what to say or do. My sister has been supportive, although I haven't kept her informed as of late, because she is up to her ears in plannng her youngest son's Bar Mitzvah, and is getting ready to host a gaggle of guests from all over the world (she lives overseas)while working on her doctorate. I guess I will fill her in when all calms down in her house.
I am tired of walking around keeping it all a secret, and telling people has felt like unloading a burden.